Outside

Although the weather is still not as warm as I'd like, we have had decent enough weather to spend some time outdoors. Thank goodness!

One of our favorite things at this time of year is the wetlands behind our house. Everything is so green and alive right now. What starts out as wetlands flows into a creek behind the field, where there is fortunately a walking trail. We're probably trespassing on someone's property, but fortunately, there are no signs or houses or anything back there to tell us otherwise.

On our walk back, Tommy was determined to navigate the field but kept falling. He held Shane's hand and was so very serious about each step he took.

The crazy robin who built a nest in my basket of flowers laid two eggs Saturday, followed by one more egg Sunday, and another Monday. I sincerely hope that the process of laying an egg isn't like labor, becuase OUCH. That's a long time.

I worry that she's not protected enough from predators, because I keep thinking that any sort of animal could jump up and get her and her babies. Thanks to the flowers still growing around her, she does seem pretty sheltered. She popped her head up when she heard me at the door taking photos; normally, you can't even see her.

Vibrant

I haven't done You Capture in so long or uh, blogged in general, but I was on the Sephora website searching for the name of the vibrant blue toenail polish I'm sporting right now (no pictures, because feet are gross) when I remembered that today was You Capture. Except that it was actually yesterday, but hey, better late than never. I wish I could show you photos of beautiful, vibrant flowers, but Indiana still thinks it's winter. Shane took Luke to the store Monday and since he can't say no, Luke came home with this vibrant lollipop...which this little imp promptly stole. Leaving his patient big brother with only this small piece and his mommy with approximately twenty feet of sticky hand prints to clean off the wall.

Chilled

Although it's only 39* outside, I just walked out to get the mail shoeless, because I miss the feeling of grass beneath my (unpolished, because why bother?) toes. This winter seems to be long, longer than most. I'm sure I say this every year, but I can feel the cold seeping into my bones. I can never get warm, even in layers, even under blankets, even in a warm bathtub.
I want nothing more than flip flops, sitting in the grass soaking sunlight into every ounce of my body, playing at the park, smelling the flowers.


I wonder when I'll get to dig my hands into the dirt and plant this sweet geranium? I'm starting to feel like we're living in Narnia, where it's always winter and never spring.

Love in the time of nachos

Yesterday out of nowhere, Shane said, Was last year our fifth anniversary? Is this June going to be our sixth? Did we not do anything special last year? Thankfully because of this blog, I was able to look back and see that we went out for sushi, which isn't a big thing but was perfect for us. Especially since we promptly forgot that we did anything at all.

Lately I've been so happy and content with our marriage. Of course we fight and sometimes he annoys me and all the time he snores so loud that I consider smothering him in his sleep. But. He also gives me butterflies after all these years and makes me dinner every night and gave me two beautiful boys. I'm really very lucky.

What do YOU think love is? Love for me is this one thing in particular. When I eat nachos, I like to soak the chips in the cheese so when I eat them, they're all soggy and soaked in cheese. It's the best way to eat nachos, in my opinion. When we're out together, at the movies or maybe a ball game, if Shane buys nachos, he ALWAYS puts a chip in the cheese for me so it'll be nice and soggy by the time he pays and sits down. Silly, right? But I never have to ask him or say it, he just does it because it makes me happy. Soggy nachos might not seem like love, but they are.

Fierce and Four

Four years ago, it was another grey February day. I was nearing the 17th hour of labor and wondering if I was ever going to have a baby.

Three hours later, I had him and it seemed like he'd always been here.

These past four years, I've yelled more than I ever intended. I fed him more sugar than I should. I've lost my patience and found frustration too often.
But I've also found laughter, hugs, and a reason to get out of bed each and every morning. As we closed in from two to three, I could see that the threes were going to be terrifying and tumultuous. And they were. But closing in on the fours, I see that they're going to be fierce and fabulous.

The constantly asserted independence has calmed down a bit. The temper tantrums? I hardly remember them (except that Tommy throws approximately 25 a DAY so it's not like I could really forget). Instead I have a little boy who owns his opinions. A little boy who tells me I look beautiful almost every single day. A little boy who hands me his very own camera and tells me to take his birthday picture, while rocking this pose:



A little boy who had a last minute downsized birthday party but still declared it to be the best party ever



Who blew out his candle, then told us that we needed to clap for him


It's going to be a good year.

My Funny Valentines

Growing up, I was always quietly envious of the girls who, on Valentine's Day, would navigate the halls arms laden with balloons, flowers, and stuffed animals. I was never dating anyone on Valentine's Day until Shane came along, but still, I loved Valentine's Day. I could always count on a box of chocolates or a flower or some other small item to be sitting next to my plate at dinner on Valentine's Day. I love my parents for this.

This morning, on my way to work, I was angry at my Valentine's Day. Angry because my phone took a swim in water, angry because I was rushing around this morning, angry because I was late to work already when Luke asked me to play Go Fish with him and I had to tell him no. Angry because my pants are tight and they're the only pair of dress pants I have that fit. Angry because I bought Shane a book that he really wanted for Valentine's Day, only to have him come home with the exact book after a trip to the library Saturday. Angry because I felt like I should've done more for Valentine's Day, made little baskets to drop on friends' porches, made treats for co-workers.

I thought about all of this and then I realized that I can't do it all in one day. Instead what if I live each day like Valentine's Day? Instead of trying to cram all the goodness and surprises and chocolates into one day, what if I spread them out and let the days that need that extra little bit of love find it? The special thing about today, the really special thing, is that my three valentine's, the friends I wanted so badly to give gifts to, the treats that weren't made... all of the people, all of things, they're in my life the other 364 days of the year, too, and if I can't let them know today what they mean to me, there's always tomorrow.

I bought him this shirt on clearance last year. I couldn't imagine him being big enough to wear a 18-24 month outfit, but here we are. So big. My littlest Valentine.

Today I sent Luke off to the sitter with a mailbox full of Toy Story valentines for his friends. He was so excited that he talked about it all weekend. He's staying a little later tonight so they can have a party and I can't wait to pick him up and hear all about it. He's so big these days.



Yesterday, my one and only Valentine made breakfast for dinner, my very favorite.

C-C-Cold

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. ~ Albert Camus

It's cold outside today. -11 according to the wind chill, so I hope I can beg for forgiveness for not taking my cold photo outside today. Have you ever noticed that the sun shines with a certain intensity when it's cold outside? Like it's trying to make amends for the fact that it is so.very.cold. This kind of cold makes me sad, makes me feel like it'll never be warm again. This morning, though, I was able to capture a little bit of hope next to the bright, cold sun.



It won't be cold forever!