half marathon training [week 4]

In this installation of "stuff that is boring to non-runners," things are pretty unremarkable. No new distances or speeds, but I did get to run outside every day this week. And I upped my dumbbells from really, really tiny to really tiny, causing me to walk around wincing in pain all day Thursday.

I am slowly getting used to Monday runs, although they're hard. I've always had Monday as a rest day because let's face it, Mondays are jerks. But to fit in three runs during the week, without doing them all in a row, I kind of had to utilize Monday. Monday is tough because I can't run right after school. Instead, I pick up Luke at school, then pick up Tommy, then dash out the door as soon as Shane gets home. Luckily Monday runs are never longer than three miles, but I still feel a little guilty saying hi and then goodbye to the boys. This particular Monday was stupid windy and I felt like I was running into the wind no matter which direction, but I got it done in 31 minutes and headed back inside to really see my boys.

Tuesday's run was a pain. The bike trail I run on had flooded at some point and then frozen over into a thin sheet of ice. Also, for some reason, there were chunks of wood on the trail. I can't figure this one out, but I was so busy watching for ice that I ended up turning an ankle on a chunk of wood. I am pretty sure I spent more time walking than running Tuesday--and I know I spent all of that time cursing myself for being out there. It was not pretty!

Thursday was a quick one mile run. It's amazing how easy this sounds, but it's really not that easy for me. I take awhile to warm up, and you don't really warm up on a one mile run. I did this in the morning before school, as I had Luke's parent-teacher conference after school (glowing report! so proud!). I have such mixed feelings about running in the dark. On one hand, I love it because it is so quiet and peaceful. Hardly any people or cars. On the other hand, I am a nervous, paranoid freak and I can't really enjoy it. I'd do it more often if there was some guarantee of safety.

This morning, I ran seven miles. I was excited because it's been awhile since I've had a run longer than five miles. I was not so excited when I saw the weather. A few inches of snow and wind gusts of up to 35 mph? I can handle the snow, but the wind. I hate you, wind. There was just enough snow to make running difficult. My usual strategy of cutting through the school parking lot and frontage road because they are always clear was a fail, as they were clear of snow, but not clear of ice. Instead of running through a clear path, I had to walk in the snow piled to the side of the road to keep from slipping! After this, I was happy to be back in the snow covered sidewalks and roads. I ended up miscalculating distance and finished my run not only uphill, but straight into the wind. I must've looked so comical. I was making running motions, but I swear I was moving backwards. Dealing with the wind and dodging snow plows was a little (okay, a lot) annoying, but it felt so good to be out there this morning. My muscles are screaming at me a little, so I'll definitely be spending some time with my foam roller today and tomorrow.
When I stopped for a snow plow at one point, I turned around and saw this view.

Isn't that beautiful? The path is the old railroad path. I always think about running down there, but I'm not sure if it belongs to someone or if there are hunters out there, so I don't want to go by myself. If anyone is ever up for a trail run/exploration, I would totally make them run this with me. Regardless, it was a beautiful sight this morning and I'm so glad I was there to see it.

Comparing, Contrasting, or Just Being

Slowly, steadily, I'm working on my Body Restoration book through Brave Girls Club. (Registration is still open for the course I'm taking--I cannot recommend it enough!)
Before I started, I was overwhelmed by all that was included and was so worried that I wouldn't have time to do it. So much so that I almost quit before I even began. I'm so glad I didn't. I've found out that I can carve out a little time each night, especially if I set up Luke and Tommy at the table with paint, too. We're all crafting together, almost every night, and I love it.
This week's really struck a chord with me. It is about loving you for you and not spending your time measuring yourself against others. I'm so bad about this. I might leave the house feeling good about myself, but put me in a group of women, and I'll decide why I'm not good enough. Someone will have better hair than me. Better boots. Look cuter in jeans. Thinner thighs. Much better hair. The list goes on and on. It's unfair to me and it's unfair to everyone else, because they didn't leave their house simply to become a measuring stick against which I judge myself. As I'm devaluing myself, I'm also devaluing the women around me. They are more than just their bodies, too.
Last night, I worked on this collage. I looked at each of the women; some pictures provided by Brave Girls Club, others that I'd cut out of a magazine.

It was still drying when I took the picture. It's not the best picture, either, but the purpose was to assign these labels to pictures of other women. Not labels about why she's better than me, but labels about how these women are real human beings who were put on this earth to be more than just a body. To hope, dream, cry, laugh, and simply live. It's a simple realization. Not exactly rocket science, but I can't fathom why it took the simple act of putting words and pictures to paper to strike me. I can't say that I'll never judge myself against others, but I'm going to try to be more cognizant of this--to realize that it doesn't matter if someone wears smaller jeans or has cuter hair, it just matters that we're both humans who are worth so much more.

Castaway Bay

We had the most wonderful weekend. A month or so ago, I received an offer for our family to visit Castaway Bay, an indoor waterpark located in Sandusky, Ohio. I jumped at the opportunity because my kids love the waterpark--and so do I. There's something really enchanting about playing indoors at an 82 degree waterpark while it snows outside. You can almost forget that it's winter. This time around, we definitely forgot that it was winter! This was our first time at Castaway Bay and we definitely return. Of the waterparks we've visited in the past, Castaway Bay quickly became our favorite. There are many reasons why, but first and foremost, we loved it because it is SO perfect for young kids. We've had incidents with shoving, running teenagers knocking into our little ones before and we've struggled with there only being one slide that's really appropriate for young kids. And let's face it, even a two year old is going to get bored after awhile. Castaway Bay was great because there is SO much to do. If you live in my area, it's super easy to travel. The distance is about the same as to Wisconsin Dells, but you miss Chicago traffic. Basically, we just got on the toll road and drove east until we got to Sandusky--it was so easy! The Ohio turnpike is great, too, because there are plenty of safe, clean places to stop. We were greeted by a table full of goodies when we got there. The boys were so excited that I couldn't stop little hands from grabbing things long enough to take a photo! And while I know that as guests of the waterpark, we obviously got a little extra special treatment, but I cannot stress enough how great the entire staff was. Obviously I didn't walk around with a sign saying, "Hi, I'm a blogger," so outside of the few extra perks, we were treated just like everyone else. The staff was unbelievably kind and friendly. Every time we passed the main guest, someone would smile and ask how we were doing. When we asked for a rollaway crib for Tommy (because I like to keep him contained in baby jail), it was brought up immediately with extra linens and pillows. The staff made a point of talking *to* the kids--asking them if they were having fun. I really liked that. The family activities offered at the park are awesome. While some do involve paying a little extra for supplies, for the most part, the activities are free and plentiful. Luke and Tommy loved seeing Peanuts characters wandering around the halls and lobby! As soon as we got there, we hit the waterpark. The slides in the toddler area quickly became Tommy's favorites. I loved them, too, because to get from the bottom of the slide, out of the pool, and back up to the top of the slide was completely open. This meant that I could stand at the bottom of the slide and wait for him to come back down and at no point was he out of my line of vision! This is awesome, because he wants to do everything on his own, and I didn't have to worry about losing sight of him. Safety is so important and I love it when a place is safe, yet doesn't infringe upon the fun that is being had. Luke's absolute favorite was Rendezvous Run, a water coaster. The first time we went on it, I was afraid he was going to be scared because my stomach dropped on the first hill, followed by a straight shot into a pitch black tube. Of course, as soon as I got my bearings, I realized he was laughing gleefully and not scared at all. I lost count of the number of times we went up the stairs and down this ride, but it was a lot. I love that he's tall enough to go on these sort of rides! We also discovered that he was tall enough to go on Paradise Plunge, a body slide at the top of the family funhouse. It was really cool to do these "big kid" slides with Luke and watch him REALLY enjoy them. I found myself wishing I had a waterproof case for my phone, as I would've loved to capture his joy! Don't worry. I captured it in other places. Friday night, we all went to a blogger dinner, where the kids got to sample some of the crafts available at Castaway Bay. I love how Castaway Bay handled this event, by the way. They seemed to understand that while we were there as bloggers, we were--first and foremost--there as families, which meant that we were interested in doing activities with our family. The boys go to color tshirts, make door hangers, and decorate cookies. (Okay, I colored Tommy's for him, but Luke had a blast decorating his!) Cookie decorating was a huge hit... Luke had such a blast that before we left, he gave out hugs and I love yous to the two absolutely wonderful PR women behind the event. Oh, and did I mention that a special guest joined us? The kid who wailed at the sight of Santa this Christmas couldn't get enough of Snoopy. Go figure. We finally had to tell Tommy that Snoopy had to go night night, because he was obsessed with seeing him again that he didn't want to go back to the waterpark before bed! Fortunately for us, we saw Snoopy the next morning on our way to the waterpark. Best of all? He was wearing pajamas, totally keeping in line with our "Snoopy went night night" fib from the night before. Tommy was so excited that he stopped dead in his tracks. I didn't get any shots in the morning, because I wanted to just enjoy our last little bit there. We went up and down the waterslides more times than I count, played basketball in the pool, battled the waves in the wave pool, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Walking out of the waterpark was definitely not easy (I'm not naming any names, but one of us did have to be carried kicking and screaming out of the park). We stopped in the lobby while Shane was loading the car, where we discovered two very awesome things: free face painting and Linus! I *love* that Linus has his blanket. (Shane is clapping because we couldn't believe that Tommy sat still for face painting.) Although it was incredibly hard to leave, I love that we were able to end the trip with face painting. It gave the boys one last experience to talk about on the ride home. I didn't talk much about our room, but we were very pleased with the Starfish room. The room itself was quiet. We didn't hear any noise at all once we went to bed, which is such a blessing. I hate staying somewhere only to have none of us able to sleep because all you hear are loud people crashing around outside your room. It was just the right size for us and had a mini-fridge and microwave, both of which are essential when traveling with kids. And free wi-fi! I did check out the fitness room Saturday morning (yes, I'm crazy) and found it to be very nice. The room itself was cozy with a big window and two flat screen TVs to make working out a little less painful. I was definitely impressed. Overall, I can't say enough good things about our stay, except that we will be back and I cannot wait. If you're looking for a fun, affordable family friendly getaway, I would definitely recommended Castaway Bay! Our trip was provided by Castaway Bay, but all opinions expressed are my own. Huge thank you to Castaway Bay and thunder::tech pr for providing us with this amazing opportunity!

Half Marathon Training [week 3]

This week had some ups and downs, but overall, I felt like it was a strong week. I had the day off Monday, so I got to run in the morning. This is always a nice weekday treat! However, the school in my town did not have the day off, which meant that my usually clear mile or so through the school parking lots and frontage road were not an option because I didn't want to dodge school buses and teenage drivers. The snow we'd gotten earlier in the weekend had time to melt a little and refreeze, making for slippery running conditions--not to mention that many of the sidewalks weren't clear. Including the sidewalk in front of the police station and town hall, which was so piled with snow that I had to walk into the busy street. That was kind of a pain, but I still finished three miles in 33 minutes. Not bad considering the conditions! Tuesday was my best 5k time yet! I finished in 29:45, shaving 14 seconds off my previous best time. The funny thing was my RunMeter app wasn't working correctly and didn't announce my pace or time, so I had no idea what my time was until I finished. I kind of like it that way, because I focused on how I felt instead of what the computer was telling me. Unfortunately, I need the app to tell me distance, so it's not an option to turn that off all of the time. I kind of screwed up on Thursday and underestimated how very cold it would be. Instead of packing my Mizuno gear, I just packed regular tights and a zip up hoodie. It was cold! Single digits cold, so I ran on the treadmill. Fortunately I was only scheduled to run two miles, but I was still pouty because I'd been looking forward to a quick, easy two miles outside. Thanks, winter. You're a dumb jerk. It took me 21 minutes and I managed to hit the emergency stop button twice. Did I mention how much I dislike the treadmill? In case I didn't mention how much I dislike the treadmill, let me reiterate. Today I was scheduled to run six miles. Because we were on a mini-vacation at a waterpark (a post is coming on that very soon), my only option was to do a treadmill run in the morning. I thought I could do it. I really, really thought I could power through my treadmill dislike and do it, but I could not. I managed to run three miles in a slow 36 minutes (during which I punctuated with tweets about how much I hate the treadmill), but I honestly felt like I'd died and was in some level of hell where I was required to run the treadmill for all of eternity (I'm pretty sure Dante would've mentioned that if treadmills were around in his time). It was awful. I turned on the TV, I listened to music, and nothing worked. It was so miserable. I stopped at three miles and got on the elliptical for 3.25 miles. I know it's not the same as a six mile run, but I'm confident that I could've ran six miles if I would've been outside. Instead of in what was so obviously hell. After my run, we went back to the waterpark where I climbed up the stairs to the top of the big slide with Luke approximately eight million times, so I'm confident that I got a good workout regardless. I really need to learn to power through my treadmill dislike. I'm trying, but mental blocks are my worst enemy. I also did a Tough Mudder workout on Wednesday. I should've done one on Friday, but after four hours in the car and three hours chasing the boys around the waterpark, I was beat! Again, I'm assuming all the stair climbing counted as conditioning. According to my Daily Mile, I've logged 104 miles since December 1st! Not bad at all--I can thank the mild December for most of that. Now that we have a taste of winter, I'm definitely ready for spring. Here's hoping I'm able to run outside this whole week...

so much more

Recently my friend Kim blogged about a Body Restoration class she's taking, on a site called Brave Girls Club. I'd never heard of either, but the names both intrigued me. After clicking over to the site, I was in love. And wanted to do it so badly, but I knew I couldn't budget it or even come close to budgeting it so I resigned myself to just follow along with Kim. And then just a few days later, Brave Girls Club opened up a contest offering free classes to sixty people (how generous is that?!). I entered as soon as I saw, but my comment was one of hundreds--imagine my complete happiness when I found that I won a Body Restoration class. It felt so right. Then I looked at the lessons and I kind of panicked a little. It required so much art! Although I used to be artistic to an extent, it's been years since I've had the time to do anything like that. Who was I kidding? Still, I went and bought art supplies on Monday. Tuesday was an incredibly stupid and stressful day. INCREDIBLY. The kind of stress that shows no signs of stopping any time soon, which is frustrating in eight hundred ways. I came home with the boys, set up my new sketch book (spiral bound because it was cheaper, naturally), and set to work. I gave them paint, too, and they were beyond thrilled. I painted. I cut. I decoupaged. I used to decoupage all the time! It's been ages, but I used to go through jars of mod podge on a weekly basis. I decoupaged everything. If someone sat too still, I would decoupage them. I'm only half kidding. I love the stuff. It's like glue on steroids. And I felt better. It's certainly not pretty or artistic or even neat, but that's okay because it made me feel better. This week's theme is how you're so much more than your body. Those are my eyes, of course. I chose words that spoke to me, about all the things I do that are so much more than my body. I used pink because it's my favorite color and sparkly green because I like glitter. Most importantly, when I was done with this and the two journaling pages that follow it in my book, I felt better. The stressful situation was and is still there, but it settled from a huge lump in my throat to a slightly smaller one. I'll take it. Part of the course also involves thanking your body for the things it does today. When I ran on the treadmill after work, instead of glaring in the mirror at my wobbly bits (seriously, fitness room designers, a wall mirror two feet in front of a treadmill? NO.), I tried to keep a running thought of how strong my body was and what it's doing for me. And then I accidentally hit the emergency stop button and almost fell off the back of the treadmill, so I instead began thinking about how much of a clumsy spaz I am, but that's okay because at least I wasn't focusing on those wobbly bits--because those wobbly bits? Yeah, I'm so much more than that.

Half Marathon Training [week 2]

Week 2 of half marathon training is in the bag! I felt pretty strong this week, especially compared to last week. Last week's migraine really killed me... I'm hoping it's awhile before another bad one hits.

Monday was definitely my strongest 5k ever. I finally finished a sub-30 5k. Granted, I finished in 29:59, but that one second counted! When I hit 2.5 miles and it read my time as 25 minutes, I panicked a little because I had two hills in front of me and was running into the wind. I actually faltered and walked a few steps before I was like, What are you doing? You can DO this. And I did. My splits were 10:23, 9:32, and 9:12.
I was a little tired and sore Tuesday, after two full days of teaching and pushing myself during Monday's run. I missed that sub-30 by six seconds, but I still felt strong. Splits were 10:10, 9:44, and 9:20. Another good negative split!

Wednesday, I followed the Tough Mudder workout and managed to not die. This is a good thing.

Thursday, heh. Thursday killed me. I knew there was a winter storm coming, but I convinced myself that I could run in it. Until I stepped outside and chipped all the ice and snow off my car and almost fell three times doing so. I swallowed my pride and trudged back inside the school to use the treadmill. A little note about me and treadmill running: I haven't done it in, oh, four years. And when I last did it, I was just starting out running and really did more of a fast walk with a few occasional jogs thrown in. So I didn't really run on it. However, I've always heard people say that treadmill runs are faster and easier, so I was all, I'm going to kill this run! It's going to be so fast! Yay easy fast run!
I love it when the universe laughs at me. I am, apparently, not a treadmill runner. I couldn't figure out pacing. I'm used to listening to my legs and letting them tell me when to speed up and slow down. Pushing buttons? Yeah, that doesn't really work for me. Looking at a wall mirror while I'm running? DEFINITELY doesn't work for me. I am horrified at how, uhh, bouncy things are. In one week, I ran my fastest and slowest 5k. I'm nothing if not random.

Friday, I again survived the Tough Mudder workout. And I managed to do a grand total of one real pushup (aka, with my knees off the floor).

Today, I finished strong with a snowy run. It took forever to find my motivation today. I had a little headache. Tommy was sick and woke me up in the middle of the night, needing comfort and snuggles. I finally pushed myself out the door and I was so glad. It was only a four mile run (funny how my miles have actually decreased for the time being!).
It was COLD and the sidewalks weren't all clear, so I stuck to the roads in places that were not heavily trafficked. My head felt light once I got out in it. As much as I detest snow, it is pretty and covered up all the ugliness of January. My splits weren't perfect, but I had to walk through a knee high snow drift at mile three. Without that, I probably could've achieved a negative split. Still, I was pretty close with splits of 11:01, 10:20, 10:43, 9:39. I am probably going to feel this run in my hips tomorrow, as I had to brace myself to keep from slipping and sliding for most of the run. In a few places, I opted to leap over snow that was piled around driveways and I kind of felt like a kid. It was fun!

It was definitely a good one! I have to say how much I love Mizuno breath thermo gear for winter running. The headband keeps my head so warm that I didn't need to pull up my hood, and the gloves keep my hand so toasty that I've yet to make it through a whole run without needing to pull them off to let my hands cool down.

I am glad I had a good week. I felt like last week was kind of a bad start to training and worried that it was a bad sign. I'm glad week two turned it around for me!

there is a silence

listening to the Sufjan Stevens Pandora station. This really beautiful song While You Were Sleeping by Elvis Perkins just played. I've never heard it before, but I love discovering new music. The words are really moving. I can do this only because I have no students today. Only papers to grade and grades to type in the computer.

As I'm listening, I'm thinking that some people get to listen to Pandora all day at work and discover new favorites all day long. What must that be like? I feel that momentary pang of jealousy, that grass is greener moment. It's not what I want, not what I've ever wanted. It's nice for today, but the steady silence beneath the flourescent lights would start to get to me after awhile. I would miss the 8th grade exuberance, even when it's annoying.

Yesterday I gave my students an assignment over The Red Wheelbarrow. They had to write their own poems, deciding what so much might depend upon. For the most part, they got it. It's always such a good feeling when they're showing you work that equals or sometimes outreaches your expectations.

I should be using this time to clean out my file cabinets, my catch all drawers that end up full of unnecessary, unorganized items. My cabinets, my shelves, all of those things that I always swear I am going to organize so well. On the surface, my classroom is very organized, with daily folders for homework, monthly calendars, it's all easy for my students. But inside the closets and the closed drawesr, everything is a jumble.

Instead I'm gazing out between the blinds at the snow, the white ground and wondering how I'm going to run tomorrow if the sidewalks are still not cleared.

I don't want to shake this quiet, though. I want to soak it up, because it's so rare. Breathe it in, hold on to it, knowing that this room won't hold this silence again until June, when I'll be too busy gazing between the blinds at the green grass and sunshine and my closets will still be messy.

That's okay, though. Maybe I kind of like them that way.