This morning, Shane went to church. Luke and I went to the playground. I used to go to church, but I haven't gone very much at all since I was pregnant with Luke. The pastor made some comments that I felt went against what I believed, went against why I wanted to go to church, so I don't go regularly any more. Oh, and I know that isn't what church is about, but I'm stubborn and maybe that's a fault, but it's who I am.
Today has been a day, though, where I probably needed to go to church. Instead, I found hope, solace, spirituality in the warm sunshine. With one sweet child laughing and running around the playground, and another kicking in my belly. This time of year is always so hard for me, so hard that all I can do is reach within myself to find the hope that some year, it'll get easier. That I'll find pieces of myself that have been lost over the years, that someday, I won't even have to reach for that hope, because it'll be right there.