And so this stress manifested in us bickering about something trivial EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Then Tommy was born. Luke went back to sleeping through the night like someone flipped a switch. We made the transition from three to four like it'd always been this way, and in a way, it feels like it has. Tommy came crashing into our lives and exploded our hearts in ways we never dreamed possible.
Three days after Tommy was born, Shane pulled me into his lap, kissed my cheek, and told me how sorry he was for all the bickering, all the stress, and that he realized now how wonderful this whole thing is. I told him the same. I hate that we spent those days fighting with each other, but I love that we can say I'm sorry. I love that he is the calm to my storm and that even though he's the most squeamish person ever, he thinks it's totally cool that I gave birth on our stairs. I even love that he brought his bag to the hospital and when I said, "Did you get my suitcase?" he didn't say anything or even move for five seconds, like he was trying to mentally will my suitcase to appear at the hospital, even though the truth was that he grabbed his and left mine sitting in our bedroom. I loved it so much that all I could do was laugh. And I love that when he tells people about Tommy's birth story, he remembers that I said, "I think we waited too long!" and how he wanted to say, "No shit, honey," but he didn't think that was the right thing to say at the time. I love how he elbows Luke and says, "Your mommy looks pretty good for just having a baby, doesn't she?"
Mostly what I love is knowing that this glow will wear off, that we'll bicker again about stupid things, but no matter what, we'll always come together when we need to, we'll always be able to step back and just love each other.