These Three Years

It's hard to believe that it's been three years since Tommy came rocketing into our lives. Three seems so big. No longer a baby. Not really a toddler, even. Heather wrote about her son's birthday and how it isn't any more special than her other children's birthdays, yet the gratitude for her son's health is overwhelming. That's how I felt at Tommy's birthday. As the candle was blown out, I knew he was too young to make a wish or to understand, so I wished for him. For no more seizures, for continued health, for the wish I hoped he'd make if he could. These three years haven't been the easiest of our lives. They definitely haven't been the easiest financially, not by a long shot. They've been sad and scary in a lot of places. Yet, they've been beautiful and happy in ways that I could never imagine before there were four of us.



That's still one of my favorite photos. They don't always treat each other so lovingly these days, but at the end of the day... they still love each other a lot.

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Being his mom isn't easy. It doesn't involve a lot of sleep, as many of you know. It involves a lot of patience. It involves temper tantrums and things that your older brother never did. It involves carrying you out of stores with your back arched and sitting in the car at restaurants while everyone else finishes their meals because you wouldn't sit in your chair any longer or because you threw a fork. Things that I was smug about with your older brother, because he never did those things.

You've thrown me for a lot of loops, buddy. Precipitous labor. Two overnight hospital stays before your third birthday. But you've also pushed me to do things I would never have done without you, like raise almost $4000 for the epilepsy foundation. You don't know the people you've touched with your story and what you've taught them about this disease. I wish it wasn't a part of our lives, but you've taught me to never back down. I'm so glad I get to be your mom. Keep the adventures coming.

Celebrate

Somehow, we celebrated a third birthday this weekend. Three. I can hardly believe it. His actual birthday is Wednesday, but it didn't matter to him. All that mattered is that there was cake, a piñata, friends, and a park. As always, I didn't pick up my camera nearly enough, but also as always, it was a truly beautiful day surrounded by friends and family who we love so very much.



There was playing



And piñata hitting



Candy pile!



Present unwrapping

Tommy didn't entirely understand how this worked and kept saying, "Can I take this home?" or "Is this mine?"


There were cute babies



And cute big kids



And one seriously tired birthday boy... we live four miles from the park where we had his party. He was asleep before we reached our driveway.


Every year on his birthday, I count our blessings for all the love and happiness we have surrounding us. This year, I felt like I counted more than ever. We are so very blessed.

Tommy's 2nd birthday
Tommy's 1st birthday

Surprise!!

I have pretty amazing family and friends. I already knew this, but it was even more solidified when Shane, Julie, and Donya managed to throw off a surprise party for my 30th birthday.

This is amazing for so many reasons. One, it's beyond humbling to know that a group of busy people took their time and energy to put together something just for you. Two, Shane doesn't have a cell phone, so the fact that he managed to coordinate this without texting anyone is amazing. Three, everyone managed to pull it off in a way that I just thought they were busy my birthday weekend. And four, Luke knew about it and managed to keep it a secret for three weeks straight.

Shane got me out of the house Sunday morning under the guise of taking me to breakfast. He said his mom was going to watch the kids all day so we could go out to breakfast and dinner. Before we left for breakfast, I took all the sheets off the bed, washed them, and had them in the dryer, because I was definitely planning on taking a nap after breakfast. I also wasn't planning on eating lunch after breakfast, so I definitely ate a huge serving of french toast stuffed with bananas, peanut butter, and bacon. It was, in a word, amazing.


While I was making a glutton of myself, my house was being transformed.

And filled with desserts.


After breakfast, we went to CVS because I needed to pick up a prescription. This worked out for Shane, who needed to kill more time before we went home. Walking into CVS, we ran into one of my coworkers. I thought he was being really rude because he walked off while I was talking to him and didn't wish me a happy birthday. It turns out he was headed to our house and was panicked that he was going to ruin the whole thing. Ha!

When we got home, I was pretty excited to take my nap. Until we walked in and a bunch of people in my living room started yelling surprise at me. I don't remember what I said, but I think I called Shane a jerk.


The neatest part of this whole thing was looking around the room and taking in who was there... it was incredible to look from person to person and register that they were there for me.
Next I went around the room and hugged everyone and laughed at whatever excuse they'd given me. I was super surprised to see my bestie Leah there because she lives 2ish hours away... and she'd told me she had a baptism to attend!







Someone took my purse and told me to go downstairs and look at the decorations and then someone else handed me a mimosa, which was like my third of the day. It was all kind of a blur...I really couldn't believe it was happening, how incredible everything was.



(To read more about this amazing cake, visit Julie's blog.)

I blew out candles and everyone sang while I was holding Tommy. Then Luke realized that he missed out on cake and was sad, so we decided that the first time was just a dry run. Julie lit the candles again and this time, I held Luke while everyone sang and I blew out the candles.




I didn't really know what to wish for because I couldn't think of anything else I could possibly need, you know? I felt like I had it all. It's amazing to get to a point in your life where your family and friends throw you a surprise party with the perfect decorations and the perfect desserts because they know just what you'd want. And then you unwrap gifts and every single gift is something you would've purchased for yourself because, again, they know you so well. There were even presents from people like Ryley and Cameron and Adam, who couldn't make it because they live a million miles away or because their wife just had a baby... yet they still took the time to do something special for me. That is humbling.

I was and still am so overwhelmed at all that these two did to throw this together. And my husband, with whom I apparently didn't take a picture? Oops!


I wasn't dreading turning thirty. Age is just a number and I'm probably in better health now than I was ten years ago, but I was worried that my thirties would not top my twenties. I can't think of a more fitting way to ease that worry than to start my thirties off with one of the best days of my life. I'm sure that I've forgotten details or people to thank, but what is overwhelmingly with me--reflecting back on this and on our Tommy's Team walk--is how incredibly, amazingly blessed I am to have such love and support in my life. You guys? I am really, really lucky.

Thank you to Donya for these incredible photos. You can see all of them here.

Surprise!

So, a party happened and I was invited, but I didn't know it until we arrived, thanks to the trickery of Julie, Donya, my husband and everyone else who knew about it but kept it a secret (including Luke, who knew for three weeks that this was happening!).


I want to tell you all about it, but I'm busy and tired today (hello, long night of thunderstorm after thunderstorm) so that will have to wait until later this week, when I will hopefully have lots of fun pictures to share (including me covering my mouth and pointing at Shane and calling him a jerk). What I do want to tell you is that if the first day of my 30s is any indication of how the rest of this decade will be, it's going to be pretty amazing and full of blessings.



Thanks, Tommy, for the awkward hand placement. You know how to help your mom take a good photo.

Happy Birthday, Rocket Man

Two years ago, he rocketed into this world.

His party was wonderful. There was sunshine and cupcakes.


Fun time


And of course, lots of love.

I wish I had more pictures from our amazing day. I wish I'd taken photos of Tommy with everyone who came to his party, but of course, I was too busy visiting and enjoying our day.
Words can't really describe how thankful we are for Tommy in our lives. He is really is joy personified. He lives every moment as if he needs to be fully immersed in it. Unfortunately, this extends into middle of the night moments, too, and he spent all of his last crashing into our room desperately wanting to read his favorite truck book at 1:30AM.

He is mischevious. Oh, is he EVER. Even worse, he's learned to play his mom and dad. If he's caught with something in his hand that he shouldn't have, he immediately puts it on his head, smiles, and says, "My hat!" Every time, without fail. It's so hard to continue to reprimand him and not just laugh at his hat, which sometimes takes the form of leaves he's ripped off a tree, a cheese grater, or a pair of scissors.
He loves to pretend. Spatulas and remotes become phones. He always, always pretends to call Papa (my dad). At his party, when we asked him whose birthday it was, he pointed at my dad and said, PAPA! He still claims it's Papa's birthday.

He is my mama's boy. If he feels uncomfortable or shy, he clings to me. He wants to be held. He loves to cuddle into my shoulder. He's rarely still, but if he is, he's usually near me or on me at that time. Mostly, I don't mind. He is also a boy's boy. He loves trucks, trains, buses, tractors in a fierce way that Luke never did. When we drive down the highway, he yells TRUCK, MAMA, MY TRUCK.

He amazes me daily. I still remember the way he felt against my skin when he was born, the sound of his first cry. I'm so lucky to be his mama.

Fierce and Four

Four years ago, it was another grey February day. I was nearing the 17th hour of labor and wondering if I was ever going to have a baby.

Three hours later, I had him and it seemed like he'd always been here.

These past four years, I've yelled more than I ever intended. I fed him more sugar than I should. I've lost my patience and found frustration too often.
But I've also found laughter, hugs, and a reason to get out of bed each and every morning. As we closed in from two to three, I could see that the threes were going to be terrifying and tumultuous. And they were. But closing in on the fours, I see that they're going to be fierce and fabulous.

The constantly asserted independence has calmed down a bit. The temper tantrums? I hardly remember them (except that Tommy throws approximately 25 a DAY so it's not like I could really forget). Instead I have a little boy who owns his opinions. A little boy who tells me I look beautiful almost every single day. A little boy who hands me his very own camera and tells me to take his birthday picture, while rocking this pose:



A little boy who had a last minute downsized birthday party but still declared it to be the best party ever



Who blew out his candle, then told us that we needed to clap for him


It's going to be a good year.

Birthday Bash

Luke's third birthday was wonderful and joyful and oh yeah, did I mention exhausting? In a good way, but oh my goodness, am I tired.

We celebrated here on his actual birthday, and they did an amazing job (with the exception of one very rude employee I encountered at the end of the party). I could not have been happier with how very special they made his special day.

His party started out in the water room, and then moved on to the block room, where Noah totally kicked butt at a game of Red Light, Green Light (while Gray and Ellie built a lego tower in the midst of it all).

My favorite part, though, was in the art room where everyone decorated a page in a birthday book for Luke. Isn't that so special?

After this, we went to the ball room, where the kids all had a loud, sweaty time, followed by Luke's birthday parade to the party room.

Everyone ate pizza and cupcakes, and my birthday boy proved that he eats cupcakes just like his mama.

Luke opened presents, and he was so into that I hardly had time to snap a photo. As you can see, all of the excitement was too much for Tommy.

We stayed and played at Bellaboo's until almost 3, when Luke hit the overtired wall, but what a great day. I'm so thankful and blessed to have so many beautiful friends who helped us to celebrate!

The next morning, we woke up bright and early and went to Shane's parents' house, where Shane's dad had prepared a birthday pancake breakfast for Luke. Luke got to open more gifts, plus play with his cousin Piper. There were so many blessings in my weekend, the biggest of all being my birthday boy.