Friday, February 3, 2012

lowercase day

today i feel like speaking in lowercase. whispers. it's very foggy outside right now. i can't even see the street, which isn't very far away. fog always makes the world seem so quiet, which is good.

yesterday i had a migraine that came slamming out of nowhere. i should've known because i woke up craving a fountain coke. sometimes these help chase my migraines away. other times, nothing will do. the pre-migraine symptoms hit me all at once. one minute, i felt okay. the next, my nose was running, my eyes were watering, i was nauseous, and worst, i was so extremely fatigued. the fatigue is bad when i'm at work. all i want to do is toss up the white flag and crawl under my desk, but i can't. usually i can hold it off and make it through the day, but yesterday, i stepped in the hall and someone had sprayed perfume or cologne everywhere. forget making it through the day, i barely made it to the bathroom before losing the contents of my stomach. i was home by 12:30 and immediately crawled into bed, where i stayed until 11:30 that night. most of the time, i was in too much pain to sleep. i just tossed and turned and prayed for a reprieve for the pain. migraines are really bad. i have an appointment with a neurologist because i can't handle them anymore, but he can't see me until june. i keep telling myself that june is not that far away, but in terms of migraines and pain, it kind of is.

luke is so sweet when i don't feel well. he brought me a bowl of chicken and noodles (the smell of which caused me to throw up, but we won't tell him that) and after his bath last night, he crawled into bed next to me. he rubbed my head. the pain of being touched when i have a migraine is rough. the physical sensation is overwhelming, but i couldn't tell him. so i let him rub my head, gritting my teeth until he drifted off to sleep next to me. he is very empathetic. shane cleaned the house while i was down and out. tommy said, "your head hurt, mama?" and gave me a kiss. he's started kissing us when we're hurt. unfortunately, tommy is usually the one hurting us, so him giving a kiss after pinching or hitting is sweet, but not as sweet as it could be.

today i'm so tired. i'm sad that i missed eleven hours of life yesterday. i'm sad that i couldn't run my planned four miles. i'm sad that i feel so sore and hurt today. i am glad that it's friday, though. i'm glad that i should feel well enough tomorrow to run five miles as scheduled. i wish i had it in me to make up those four miles from yesterday, but i think that tonight calls for the couch and some sort of disney movie with my boys.

11 comments:

Courtney Foster said...

Oh man, I am so sorry you are going through that. Migraines are so painful and I cant imagine having to deal with them so much. I hope June comes quickly and you get some answers.

Julie said...

So, can we call, like, every day to see if they have cancellations in the neurologist schedule?? Sad migraines are so sad!!

Kaycee said...

I hate migraines. They are so stupid. I hate losing part of my life that that too. I am SO glad you are going somewhere to get help. I hope that either they get a cancellation or your migraines go away until June. Enjoy your Disney movie and snuggles tonight - you deserve it after a migraine like that!

One crazed mommy said...

You poor thing - Migraines are horrid, evil things! I used to have them often in my younger years - thank goodness as I get older they arrive with much less frequency. But that pain...oh that pain; And the forewarning aura...or as I call funky vision...is almost as bad! Hope that you get the answers you are looking for, and much sooner than June! That's a long time to wait for something so important.

nicole said...

That sucks. I do hope you get your five miles in over the weekend. And you should definitely chill tonight.

keli [at] kidnapped by suburbia said...

gah, I HATE this for you!! I think you should call back in tears and see if there is any possible way you can get in earlier - June is a long time. :(

Mrs. Cline said...

I understand the lowercase days. xoxo

Jaime said...

Oh I am SO sorry. I understand migraines all too well...no fun. Especially when they take away time from the things and people you want to be with. Yes, lowercase days...they are nice.

Hope you feel better soon and that an opening pops up earlier for you for the neurologist.

Katie said...

I'm so sorry you have to deal with those! This may be a stupid comment (I'm guessing you have tried lots of things by now), but FYI my doctor perscribed Fiorinal for my migraines and it is a life saver, knocks them out right away. It may not work for you but I wanted to help if I could! I hope your doctor figures it out for you.

Abbey Emme said...

I am a chronic migraine sufferer and a military spouse. I rarely get to see the same doctor twice :( I have taken control of my migraines on my own! I get them about once a month but no longer have to take "maintenance drugs" which your neurologist may suggest. I gave up gluten and sugar, take magnesium supplements and do yoga. A massage every now and again can help as well. Try some things on your own between now and June. I know the wait can be just as miserable. The sooner you learn how to manage them yourself the better. The doc can always give you something for the really bad days but if you can do it on your own you won't spend as much time in the fog. I take Maxalt dissolvable.

This blog provides lots of great research and help:
http://headacheandmigrainenews.com/

Best of luck!

Adventures In Babywearing said...

I hope this weekend is relief for you. This weather is crazy, I wonder if that is messing with everything, too.

Steph