Monday, November 14, 2011

in the quiet

Some of my favorite memories with my children are when they're sleeping. I don't mean that it's a favorite because they are actually quiet and not asking a million questions (although sometimes these moments are a blessing), but a favorite because when they are sleeping, I can just hold them close and be in the moment.

Like this moment... one of our first, as I held Luke close to me and he drifted into a heavy newborn sleep, his skin against mine.
(please ignore my double chin, thanks.)

Or this moment with Tommy, when the calm finally settled over us after his tumultuous birth.
(please notice my lack of a double chin, thanks.)

I remember just holding them, feeling their skin against mine, and marveling how they were mine. How did they come to be mine? How did I get so lucky to be matched with these babies who were so exquisitely, perfectly mine? I remember just holding them and not wanting to put them down, even when it was obvious that they were deeply asleep. I remember drifting off to sleep next to them and waking up before they did and just gazing at them, drinking them in.

Now that they're bigger, we don't have those quiet sleep moments as much. Especially since one of them doesn't really like to sleep. Or be quiet, for that matter. I still steal those moments when I can, though. When Shane has a late meeting, Luke gets to fall asleep in our bed while I put Tommy to sleep. Sometimes he's still awake when I come in and we cuddle until he drifts into sleep, his cold feet pressed into my belly.
I treasure those moments. It's hard to move him into his bed, because I just want to keep him next to me so warm and alive.

I don't rock Tommy to sleep at night, but on the weekends, I rock him to sleep for nap time. I miss him so much using the week that these moments are really nice. I just hold him for as long as I can.

These moments are just us and the world could stop spinning while we're in these moments, but I don't think I would notice. I don't think I would want to notice.


*Lissa* said...

i adore sleeping children. so much.

Kristen said...

I am the exact same way with Nate. He is constantly on the go and never wants to cuddle any more. .. . so those few sweet moments we get while nursing or when he falls asleep nursing are so precious because I love feeling the heavy weight of him in my arms, and because he's still I'm able to stare at his perfection.

Lyndsay said...

I was late for work today because when I went in my daughter's room to wake her up she was FAST asleep. I curled up with her for a few minutes and just breathed in her sleepy scent. It was the best way to start the day!

Foursons said...

I agree! Those sleep-induced moments can be some of the sweetest times.

Adam said...

When they're quiet, those two feelings really take over: love and disbelief.

Sarah said...

I love this.
and I'll admit...sometimes (ok, often) I let my newborn sleep on my chest instead of a crib or bassinet.
I absolutely love it.

One crazed mommy said...

I still love to curl up with my babies, even though they are now 6 and almost 8. My hubby went out of town the other night to visit his mom, and when he is gone the kiddos sleep in the bed with me. It's snuggles, laughter and tv time and I adore it! My daughter cuddled up to me last night, and I get sad thinking she's almost to the age that this will end soon. :( Enjoy those quiet moments while you can! They are a blessing! :)

Sara said...

Beautiful. :)

InTheFastLane said...

Those moments are so fleeting.
This is also why I hang on to them with JJ, even though he might be getting too old for it.

anymommy said...

They are never more beautiful than when they are sleeping. Love this.