Dominoes

Last week, we were all horribly sick. One by one. Tommy was sick all weekend, then it got really bad by Wednesday so we ended up at Urgent Care with a little boy with an ear infection. Tommy doesn't do well with doctors he doesn't know ever since his stay in the hospital, so I ended up pinning him down on the table so she could look in his ears. It was miserable for both of us. Thursday morning, I woke up so sick that I could hardly get out of bed. Th ursday afternoon, Luke was in tears because his ears hurt so badly, so Friday morning, it was back to Urgent Care (the boys' pediatrician was booked solid all week). A sinus infection for me, ear infection for Luke, and pink eye for both of us. $70 later (yes, $70. AFTER insurance), we were loaded up with prescriptions and on our way home to rest. Of course, Shane came home that evening with--you guessed it--an ear ache and pink eye. Of course, he claims he doesn't need to see a doctor, so he's sharing MY eye drops and wandering around saying HUH? because he can't hear out of his ears. In case you're wondering, it IS just as annoying as it sounds.

Saturday, Luke, Shane and I moped around miserably while Tommy, four days into his medicine, destroyed the house knocking over an breaking multiple objects. My house may never recover. Sunday, I auditioned for Listen To Your Mother (no fancy hyperlink because I'm typing this on my phone arms around an almost sleeping Tommy: http://www.listentoyourmothershow.com/). My voice was almost fully recovered though I felt out of breath maybe from the sickness but maybe also from the awesomeness of telling my story out loud when I usually only write or mostly often just think it in my head.

Then today I went to school and drank caffeine for the first time in six days, which caused me to be the most fidgety person ever. And it was work, where I struggled and stressed and fretted and worried and all those work things which are never very fun but are the life of a teacher. It's funny that despite my blog title, I never talk about that very much. It's hard. It's rewarding. It's scary. I POUR MY HEART INTO IT. I can't imagine any other job in the world for me, but also sometimes it feels like a shoe that's a half-size too small.

L is for...

My birthday boy!


I could look at this picture every day for the rest of forever. He was so sweetly proud of the chocolate brownie cake he helped Daddy make.



L is also for little brothers who get jealous of all the attention being poured on big brothers, so they take off their pants and bust out some sweet yoga moves right in the middle of present unwrapping.



You Capture: Things that start with L

Twisty

Once many years ago, a guy who is not my husband (which would make it many, MANY years) told me that one thing he loved about me was the grace with which I accepted compliments. That if he or anyone complimented me physically, I just smiled and said thank you, instead of listing off a myriad of reasons why I was actually quite hideous.
Lately though, it's all gotten twisted in my brain. I'm so overwhelmed with work, drowning under piles and papers, that I'm not taking care of myself. The months (seven, to be exact) without a haircut. The five pounds I gained in one week, thanks to Valentine's Day and Luke's birthday. The general unhappiness with myself that make it hard to accept, let alone believe, any compliments.

And then, I took this picture. I snapped it with my phone on a whim because I liked that I was wearing my 31 Bits necklace from Love and a hair pin made by Sarah Viola's mom. They made me happy. I pulled my hair back just right, one of those perfect hairdos that take a second to do but that you can never, ever accomplish again. And in turn, I loved a photo of myself and although there are still things twisted up in my brain, as twisted as the necklace I'm wearing, I'm finding my way back to the self that once just accepted compliments with a smile and a thank you. (Still I feel a little crazy blogging a photo of MYSELF, because hi, self-centered much? So maybe you could comment and leave a link to a photo of yourself that you really like? That'd be great.)





taken with my iPhone using instagram

This

for the springtime that always shows up after the winters ~ Anis Mojgani



Always. Spring is one month away. ONE month.

Fierce and Four

Four years ago, it was another grey February day. I was nearing the 17th hour of labor and wondering if I was ever going to have a baby.

Three hours later, I had him and it seemed like he'd always been here.

These past four years, I've yelled more than I ever intended. I fed him more sugar than I should. I've lost my patience and found frustration too often.
But I've also found laughter, hugs, and a reason to get out of bed each and every morning. As we closed in from two to three, I could see that the threes were going to be terrifying and tumultuous. And they were. But closing in on the fours, I see that they're going to be fierce and fabulous.

The constantly asserted independence has calmed down a bit. The temper tantrums? I hardly remember them (except that Tommy throws approximately 25 a DAY so it's not like I could really forget). Instead I have a little boy who owns his opinions. A little boy who tells me I look beautiful almost every single day. A little boy who hands me his very own camera and tells me to take his birthday picture, while rocking this pose:



A little boy who had a last minute downsized birthday party but still declared it to be the best party ever



Who blew out his candle, then told us that we needed to clap for him


It's going to be a good year.

My Funny Valentines

Growing up, I was always quietly envious of the girls who, on Valentine's Day, would navigate the halls arms laden with balloons, flowers, and stuffed animals. I was never dating anyone on Valentine's Day until Shane came along, but still, I loved Valentine's Day. I could always count on a box of chocolates or a flower or some other small item to be sitting next to my plate at dinner on Valentine's Day. I love my parents for this.

This morning, on my way to work, I was angry at my Valentine's Day. Angry because my phone took a swim in water, angry because I was rushing around this morning, angry because I was late to work already when Luke asked me to play Go Fish with him and I had to tell him no. Angry because my pants are tight and they're the only pair of dress pants I have that fit. Angry because I bought Shane a book that he really wanted for Valentine's Day, only to have him come home with the exact book after a trip to the library Saturday. Angry because I felt like I should've done more for Valentine's Day, made little baskets to drop on friends' porches, made treats for co-workers.

I thought about all of this and then I realized that I can't do it all in one day. Instead what if I live each day like Valentine's Day? Instead of trying to cram all the goodness and surprises and chocolates into one day, what if I spread them out and let the days that need that extra little bit of love find it? The special thing about today, the really special thing, is that my three valentine's, the friends I wanted so badly to give gifts to, the treats that weren't made... all of the people, all of things, they're in my life the other 364 days of the year, too, and if I can't let them know today what they mean to me, there's always tomorrow.

I bought him this shirt on clearance last year. I couldn't imagine him being big enough to wear a 18-24 month outfit, but here we are. So big. My littlest Valentine.

Today I sent Luke off to the sitter with a mailbox full of Toy Story valentines for his friends. He was so excited that he talked about it all weekend. He's staying a little later tonight so they can have a party and I can't wait to pick him up and hear all about it. He's so big these days.



Yesterday, my one and only Valentine made breakfast for dinner, my very favorite.

C-C-Cold

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. ~ Albert Camus

It's cold outside today. -11 according to the wind chill, so I hope I can beg for forgiveness for not taking my cold photo outside today. Have you ever noticed that the sun shines with a certain intensity when it's cold outside? Like it's trying to make amends for the fact that it is so.very.cold. This kind of cold makes me sad, makes me feel like it'll never be warm again. This morning, though, I was able to capture a little bit of hope next to the bright, cold sun.



It won't be cold forever!

Red

I didn't really intend to take any specific red photos this week, instead I just looked back through photos from this week and found that our week contained a lot of red. I like that.

Red coats worn by little boys who insist on trudging through the deep snow without any help, no matter how many times they fall (this same little boy would also insist on removing his mittens constantly).

Note the intense concentration on his face.

Red shirts worn by bigger boys who love to help in the kitchen.

They were making brownies. I shared his joy.

Red light that backlights the trees when it finally stops snowing, in a burst of beautiful light that is only there for a moment before the sun sets for good.

I am so glad I took the moment to notice this.

Snowy, Snowy Day

Four years ago, we had a snow storm on Valentine's Day. I remember this because my maternity leave was to start February 15th (my due date), but it started two days early because we had no school on the 13th and 14th. It left me feeling weirdly discombobulated, because I'd planned on packing up room on the 14th. Although my maternity leave sub was set to go at a moment's notice, I still had some things I wanted to put away before she came.
I remember fielding call after call from people who were concerned about what would happen if I went into labor during the worst of the storm. Shane's mom called and said we'd need to call an ambulance. I joked that I would happily deliver the baby myself in a snow bank. She was horrified. Of course, Luke didn't come until the 20th (and of course, NO ONE was worried about me not making it to the hospital in July), so what happened instead was that Shane and I had two days of nothing. We played Yahtzee and Uno and he made chili cheese dogs for dinner. It was the last two wide open, responsibility-free days we'd ever spend with just the two of us. It was awesome. Also awesome was the knowledge that since I was on maternity leave, I would not be making up those two snow days in June.

Today it's been a little louder and I have to make up this snow day, but it's still been so much fun. Last I night I brought in bowls of clean snow and we boiled maple syrup to make maple candy, just like Laura Ingalls Wilder. Today, Luke and I ate popcorn and watched three episodes of Duck Tales. We had Lucky Charms for breakfast and for dinner, we're plannng make your own English muffin pizzas. As soon as the snow dies down a little bit, we're going to bundle the boys up and head outside.
Last night I measured the snow in the way that you might expect an English teacher to measure; that is to say, not very scientifically. I put a 1.75L bottle on the deck and snapped pictures every hour, from 3pm to 8pm as the bottle slowly disappeared. By 5 this morning, it was gone completely, buried somewhere under that gigantic drift.


As for the dog, well, he measures snow days by how comfortably he can rest after plowing through drifts taller than he is. I think he'd give today an A+.