Ever since I had the stomach flu, running hasn't gone so well. I'm trying not to be frustrated, but I am. In June when I finished Couch to 5k, I could run thirty minutes without stopping. In July, I was able to run four miles without stopping--and I felt great afterward. I knew it'd only be a matter of time before I could push past four. And then the stomach flu happened. I only lost a week of running time, but I lost so much more. My body was weak from losing six pounds in two days. My muscles hurt. I pulled a muscle in my side that made walking painful, let alone running. It was like a constant cramp.
One week after the stomach flu, I went back to work and that's thrown a wrench in things, too. When I run in the morning before work, it looks like this.
The sky on the left is when I start, the right is when I return. I don't see the sun at all when I run. The limited time makes it hard. Getting up at 4:50 makes it even harder, but I'm doing it. I'm proud of myself for doing it and truthfully, I do feel like I have more energy afterward.
But I'm still not back to where I was in July and it's frustrating. I can run four miles sure, but not without stopping in the middle. I want to see my feet hitting the pavement, not look at my feet from the view of a bench.
It's part physical and it's part mental. Because I think I can't do it, my body shuts down. I hate it. I used to be able to push through those thoughts, but I'm not finding it in myself any more.
When I run on the weekends, there is at least sunshine. I'm not looking over my shoulder constantly, convinced that someone is going to ambush me.
But I'm so tired on the weekends that the thought of my long run is painful--literally and figuratively. I'm just so tired and it's so hard to get myself out the door on the two days that I don't HAVE to be out the door early. I can't describe. I don't even think I feel that winded, although I'm definitely not breathing easy. I just think to myself, I can't do this anymore. and I quit.
I hope this is all temporary. I don't want to only be a 5k'er for the rest of my life. Not that that's a bad thing, but I believe I can do more--I have to get back to really believing.