I just woke up from a nap. I'm not really a good nap taker. When I wake up, I'm so fuzzy headed that I feel even more tired than when I laid down, no matter how long or short or a nap I take. I woke up and checked my email to find an inbox full of confirmations to plans that I didn't even remember making, because I was so fuzzy that I didn't even remember what year it was.
I am so thankful this year is over, yet it was such a tough year that I haven't found it in my heart to be joyous. It's a tough place to feel such a huge disconnect from so many students. I just hope and pray that next year will be better than the last.
In the meantime, my first two days of summer vacation have been nice. Yesterday, I got my hair done for the first time in a year. This morning, I got out of bed at six AM and went for a run. I felt a little crazy, like wouldn't I rather be sleeping?? But I'm glad I did. I'm up to running 25 straight minutes now, no more intervals. I kind of can't believe that I'm doing it, because I remember running 90 second intervals during week two and thinking there was NO WAY that I could run more than that without dying. It's pretty amazing. I still don't really like running while I'm running, but I like how I feel afterward, so there's that. I haven't lost any weight and I'm not really looking to, but I have had many people tell me I look thinner in the last two weeks. I guess I must be toning up, though unfortunately it seems that running does little for that post-baby belly!
Today I am working on Tommy's 2nd birthday invites. This is bizarre to me, because someone has replaced my baby with this gangly boychild.
He's so big these days. I worried about loving Tommy because I wasn't sure if I could love another child like I did Luke. I was wrong, of course. The love for Tommy is much more encompassing than my love for Luke was, because it involves Luke. When I see them do things like this:
my heart explodes, because I'm loving the two of them together. Two seconds later, they likely pushed each other down, but that's okay. The other day, I spied on Luke playing "this little piggy" with Tommy, while Tommy giggled madly and I nearly fainted from the cuteness. I don't know how parents with MANY children handle those moments without actually exploding.
We have a lot of summer plans on the horizon, mostly catching up on all those appointments we don't want to make during the school year. We see Tommy's neurologist next week and I'm realizing that it's no longer as scary for me to say that. I still worry about him a million times a day, though he hasn't had a grand mal seizure since November. I realize daily how very lucky we are.
My fuzzy brain is starting to lift a little, so I suppose I should probably get off the couch and do something with my day. Happy Friday!