One Foot, Then The Next

Oh hey, hi there neglected blog. Does anyone still read this thing? I’ve been so bad lately, for a myriad of reasons. I don’t have a working laptop at home. It’s so tedious to even attempt to blog from my phone that I just don’t attempt. At all. Every week, I upload pictures to flickr and think, I am going to blog about this. And then the week slips by and I haven’t blogged at all, because it’s just too tedious.

I am closing in on the home stretch of what seems like the longest school year ever. When I run and I feel like I can’t possibly go another inch, I think, just put on foot in front of the other. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and then you’ll be done. That’s what I’ve thought this whole year. It’s been a hard year, possibly the hardest since my first year of teaching. All of my days off in the beginning of the year interfered with forming good relationships with my students. I usually have a handful of really close relationships, students who I will truly miss. I don’t have that this year, and it makes me sad. Part of it is because the behavior issues I’ve dealt with this year are more extreme than in the past. Not bad behavior, not really things that would make you afraid for the future, but just really immature behavior. It’s really hard to teach when your teenage students are more interested in making bird noises or hitting each other or doing other things that you expect to deal with when you sit down for dinner with your toddlers.

Suffice to say, it’s been a long year and I’ve climbed out of bed a lot of mornings thinking, just one foot in front of the other, just one more step. It’s been hard. I don’t want to wish it away, I don’t want to rush summer, because then it’ll be here and gone, but I’m ready. Every ounce of my being is ready. Ready for park days and dinners with friends and being able to run in the morning, instead of having to drag myself out the door as soon as I get home from work. Ready to walk barefoot and spend a summer in short sundresses instead of work appropriate knee length attire. Ready to turn golden from the sun, to sit and watch the flowers bloom, to watch sunsets at the beach and stop for ice cream on the way home. Ready to visit family, to celebrate six years of marriage and to, gulp, celebrate a certain little rocket man turning two. Two. Ready to wake up to the sound of that almost two year old calling us from his crib, instead of the blaring alarm clock. Ready to snuggle without thinking, I have to get up; I have to get out of bed right now otherwise I am going to be late. Ready to forget about a stressful year of legislative changes, of teacher bashing, of feeling so underpaid, underappreciated, and overworked. Ready to refresh, recharge, and greet the glory of each morning with a smile on my face and joy in my heart.

I’m so ready.