Lifey:

I keep accidentally hitting the colon instead of the period on my phone, then I try to brush it off like it was intentional.

Lately life has been full of all sorts of lifey stuff, like using the wrong punctuation and trying to roll with it because you don't know what else to do. Like finding out that one of your very best friends had a pregnancy loss at 13 weeks and how can you NOT be with her, but then the same day you plan to visit, your youngest breaks out in head to toe hives from a suspected pineapple allergy? So, you roll with it and go visit your bestie, but then you miss your exit and end up driving forty miles out of your way ending up in the middle of the University of Illinois campus and you're thinking, What's with all the drunk college kids wearing green? Only to learn that it's unofficial St Patrick's Day and so, it takes you even longer to go hug your bestie.

But! You finally get there and hug and hug and hug and eat pizza and you make her laugh and rub her legs and look at pictures of her baby and then of course, it starts to thunderstorm so you bid her a difficult goodbye and start the 2.5 hour drive home. Of course, you're exhausted and need to put gas in your car, but the credit card reader isn't working at the first gas station you stop at and the rain is coming sideways at this point, so you drive to the next one where the credit card reader is thankfully working. Only you step in a giant puddle and soak your yoga pants, but at least you have gas in the car. Your entire drive home, the rain pours sideways so hard that you really can't see that well so you end up driving under the speed limit THE ENTIRE TIME. And then, you finally get home after 11 but you're so keyed up from the drive that you can't sleep until after midnight. Then your super sweet husband lets you sleep in the next morning, only the phone rings at SIX FORTY FIVE IN THE A-YEM and so much for sleeping in, then you get the kids ready for a birthday party only the hives come back so you only take one and worry about the other and you're so tired that your head feels like it's stuffed with cotton and of course, OF COURSE, it starts to snow so hard that it's a white out on your drive home from the birthday party and you're supposed to go to another birthday party that evening, only you fall asleep on the couch for ten minutes because you're so tired and your baby crawls into your arms and cries because he's covered in hives and his skin hurts.

Of course, there's no sleeping in on Sunday, instead it's filled with family stuff which is good and bad but mostly frustrating and oh, the hives are still there. So on Monday morning, you think, it can't be Monday and you go downstairs to get coffee only to discover that the clock was wrong so your coffee automatically brewed at 11PM, making it ice cold and seven hours old and seriously, is it really Monday already? But it IS and your kid still has hives so you call the doctor at 8:45 and mention that the hives are still there and they're itchy and generally just jerks and you wait all day for a call back from the doctor that doesn't come until six in the evening, by which point you've uttered more choice words about the doctor than you care to recount.

And then finally, the day is over and you try to write a blog post about the frustrations of the last several days, but it's so frustrating that you throw grammar rules out the window and inexplicably write in a second person because it's much easier to leave out the swear words if you pretend it happened to someone else.