Impatience and a painted bust
I kept you close to me close to my ear
All For Myself ~ Sufjan Stevens
I've been overwhelmed lately by the desire to bury my head in the sand, while holding my little family close. To shut the drapes, turn off the lights, and hide inside under a pile of blankets. To pretend I don't hear people when they ask questions. To smile and nod instead of answering. To run away and hide and find a beach far away from everywhere and just be.
Photo by Beth Fletcher Photography
20 comments:
It's okay, close up the shutters for a while, we'll still be here when you decide to come back. :) xoxo
Erin,
I tear up reading this, knowing what you are trying to say (although of course not "exactly what you are going through" - as this line has totally been making me stabby lately). Kevin and I had this conversation last night when I checked in with him on the phone. I want people to know, to care, but letting them in right now - being authentic - and answering their questions truthfully would be too difficult. too revealing.
Want you to know that I think of you and Tommy everyday. When I snuggle Gabe at night before leaving the hospital we pray for your family.
Now, on a lighter note...your pictures are BEAUTIFUL. I saw them all last night on Beth's site. I love them all, but the one of Luke's precious face - GAH!
Hugs, Katie
If you need to be alone, we totally understand. That is a gorgeous picture!!
Well who WOULDN'T want to hide out with such a beautiful family! Fabulous picture... reminds me again how much I wish Beth lived near by.
I love this photo, and the words you chose.
Rest and reprieve to you.
Steph
I love the thought of you and your family sitting on the couch together, wrapped in a warm blanket, watching Wheel of Fortune (for Old Man Shane), candles burning, lights dim, you all resting.
Your minds & hearts easing with each second of security that passes.
And this picture, although it may never happen, is what your family FEELS because you, your arms, your security, your strength, the strength you don't even know you have, YOU are the protection, the shutters, the blanket.
And WE are here for YOU because that is a mighty cross to bear for a sweet Mama's heart.
Keep on keepin' on.
Beth's comment made me cry a little.
And I agree with everything people have said. Go take your time and wrap up your little family SO CLOSE under the warmest, biggest blanket you can find. Sneak in some steaming mugs of hot chocolate and whisper things that only you guys know about.
We'll be out here making sure no one disturbs you.
Love
you guys need that. draw the shades, lock the doors, put a piece of tape over the doorbell, and pop in a movie. cuddle. relax. put your feet up. and unload your load for a while.
you deserve it.
i wish you could do that. i hope you at least try.
Thinking of you lots. You'll get through this. I know it sounds cliche but you will.
HUGS!
What a cute pic of your family! Your friend Beth does a wonderful job. And, I can't believe how big your boys are getting!
That picture is so cute I want to eat it- Oh my goodness, you guys look so grown up and adorable.
I think about your boys being grown up and looking back at this picture, and I hope that you can look back and remember this as a difficult time, but one where God showed you (or gave you?) strength you didn't have before, and EVERYTHING WORKED OUT WELL.
Hope you can have the best of both worlds- love and peace, community and some alone time. But most of all healing and rest.
xoxo
My first son had a seizure at the same age and we went through the same drama for weeks but, it past and he has never had another since age two. The doctor thought it might be related to a throat infection that had no symptoms and he was too young to say that he had. I hope you are able to find such a simple answer soon.
Curl up for a day, a night, or a weekend. Hug that family of yours close. I hope you do find time to shut the shutters and turn off the ringer on the phone. xo
Erin, I used to teach this little poem to my students. I actually had them memorize it... telling them, and hoping, that in some dark moment they may find solace in the verse. Of course, most found it "completely LAME" to do this... but I always saw the softness in their eyes once the words were in their souls. These words have gotten me through some very tough nights. I hope this helps you at this trying time:
HYMN TO THE SUN
The fearful night sinks
Trembling into the depth
Before your lightning eye
And the rapid arrows
From your fiery quiver.
With sparkling blows of light
You tear her cloak
The black cloak lined with fire
And studded with gleaming
stars-
With sparkling blows of light
You tear the black cloak.
Fang people, Africa
YOU are the sun. YOU are the warmth the fire, the light, the quiver. YOU will tear the black cloak. Love you, Sharon
I think you should hole up and cuddle and love your sweet family. We will all still be here after, and that sounds like just what you need. Many thoughts and prayers still heading your way.
Love the photo and your words....so powerful.
Many hugs and prayers for you honey.
((hugs))
Bury all you need. Sometimes that it what it takes.
Hugs.
Do it until you are ready. Cuddle them close and kiss them and snuggle them. XO.
I just want to say that you all are such a beautiful family and I can just see how much love is there from your photos.
And if you feel like posting a "do not disturb" sign for a while, more power to you. Hope you're feeling better soon... xo
I agree, it's ok to take a break and shut down the world and keep your family close to you.
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