I don't think I've talked much about the boys' sitter, but I should because I credit her with making my transition back to work that much easier. We are so very lucky to have her. She lives on our street. Really. We had no idea that she even ran an in-home daycare until Luke was born. A teacher at the school in our town recommended her, and we realized that she lived just down the street. Then Shane called her and over the phone told her that my sending breastmilk for Luke was non-negotiable, and she told him that was great, that she encourages breastfeeding. Then we went to her house to meet her, and her husband got down on the floor and played with Luke, and we were like, Oh. Okay, so this is the person that we can maybe trust to watch our child, even though that's such a huge scary thing. And we do. Sometimes it is still huge and scary, but we know that our boys are being taken care of, without a doubt.
On Tommy's first day, he was very out of sorts. He refused the bottle, he refused to even eat solids. She tried to sit Luke on her lap and have Luke feed Tommy, but he still refused. Finally, she took him downstairs where it was dark, rocked him until he was sleepy, held him like you'd hold a nursing baby, and finally, he drank the bottle. She didn't just put him down to cry himself to sleep. She didn't tell me that maybe I needed to switch him to bottlefeeding to make it easier for her. She loved him enough to work with what he needed. And when Luke first started staying with her, and I told her to please try her hardest to not waste bottles and to not feed him after 1 because pumping is something at which I am just not good, she listened and understood. And again with Tommy, so that instead of having a total panic attack every single day over feeding my baby, I am comforted that a bottle will never just be poured down the drain because he didn't drink it right away. Instead, I have this full compartment in the freezer.
So, she's not us. Of course, a little part of me will always be mad and sad that she gets to spend all these hours with my boys, that I PAY her for something I'd gladly do for free (although I should mention that she's such a bargain that we're not even paying double for two kids), and oh, did I mention that she's not us?
But then I look at this photo that I snapped on Halloween
And she's still NOT US, but every single part of me sees someone who loves my children and keeps them safe and happy until they can be with US, and I can probably never ever thank her enough for that.
On Tommy's first day, he was very out of sorts. He refused the bottle, he refused to even eat solids. She tried to sit Luke on her lap and have Luke feed Tommy, but he still refused. Finally, she took him downstairs where it was dark, rocked him until he was sleepy, held him like you'd hold a nursing baby, and finally, he drank the bottle. She didn't just put him down to cry himself to sleep. She didn't tell me that maybe I needed to switch him to bottlefeeding to make it easier for her. She loved him enough to work with what he needed. And when Luke first started staying with her, and I told her to please try her hardest to not waste bottles and to not feed him after 1 because pumping is something at which I am just not good, she listened and understood. And again with Tommy, so that instead of having a total panic attack every single day over feeding my baby, I am comforted that a bottle will never just be poured down the drain because he didn't drink it right away. Instead, I have this full compartment in the freezer.
So, she's not us. Of course, a little part of me will always be mad and sad that she gets to spend all these hours with my boys, that I PAY her for something I'd gladly do for free (although I should mention that she's such a bargain that we're not even paying double for two kids), and oh, did I mention that she's not us?
But then I look at this photo that I snapped on Halloween
And she's still NOT US, but every single part of me sees someone who loves my children and keeps them safe and happy until they can be with US, and I can probably never ever thank her enough for that.
25 comments:
You are so lucky to have found her! I often think about how, when I as teaching, I sometimes spent more time with a kid than that kid's parents. And even if that kid was totally irritating, I knew that in a lot of ways I was lucky.
Someday, you will know you did everything possible to give your kids all things fantastic. Maybe you can't stay home, but at least you know that the situation has just let to more people who love them.
You are so very lucky.
5 ounces of my milk were wasted yesterday. I wanted to cry. Damn daycare
I feel the same about the woman who cares for my daughter. At three months she wouldn't take a bottle and our daycare provider cared for Emerson and worked with her--and us. If I can't be with Emerson, I'm glad she is well cared for. That's a huge plus for us working mom's!
She sounds fabulous. You really are so lucky to find someone like her!
I'm so glad you have someone you trust and love to take care of your boys. I haven't had to deal with this for a few years, and last time I struggled to find someone that worked for us. But this time? We love our nanny so much and the boys adore her and I feel so good about it. I hope I feel the same when my schedule switches to full time.
p.s. AWESOME milk stash!
I'm so glad that you found someone that you trust and love (and that trusts and loves you, too!. That is so important!
That is wonderful that you found someone so amazing and conveniently located too. Oh the pumping! I totally get you on that one.
Wow, that picture of the milk stash brings back so many memories! We were lucky enough to find an in-home daycare like that for our first son, and it made a huge difference in my ability to return to work with a positive attitude! SO glad you have her right down the street. :)
Since it can't be you right now, how beautiful that it's someone who cares for your sons with love. It doesn't get any better than that.
Of course, our first sitter was so good to our daughter almost 40 years ago that she cried when she had to come home. That's when I quit work!
what a blessing to have found someone you are all so comfortable with! My grandma watched all my little cousins, I only wish she would be able to take care of mine one day.
What a blessing for you! I babysit my friend's son who is four days older than my son and always feel bad for her having to go back to work. I always make it a point to let her know how sweet her son is and what a joy it is to care for him. And I take pictures of him throughout the day. My daughter especially loves him and will talk to him. She's even been known to try to feed him his bottle if I can't get to him right away.
I'm so glad you have someone you can trust and count on to care for your boys in the best way possible - and I'm so proud of you for pumping and continuing to nurse after going back to work. I know that pumping is hard work - I had to pump for the first full week of each of my kid's lives and, let me tell you, I was SO glad when I could start nursing them and not have to worry about pumping. Hope your day is going well today - thinking of you!
You are very lucky to have found such a lovely lady! I'm glad she can somewhat make it easier for you!
xoxo
LOve your new look, by the way!
I'm so happy you have someone like that.
We have a dayhome provider and she's like a part of our family. If I have a 3-day weekend off of work, Theo literally ASKS "Go to Donna's now? Donna's?" like he's bored with us :-) Some moms might be upset by that but it makes me being at work a bajillion times easier knowing he LOVES her and being there.
When we had to take Theo to the ER one night when he was 9 months old I called her to tell her what was going on and to say he wouldn't be in the next day she offered to meet us at the hospital. So we had someone to sit with. At 11:00 at night.
She's amazing.
God Bless daycare providers.
You are so lucky to have her and she is so lucky to have you!
I know it may be hard now, but your boys will have such awesome memories of her. Thankfully there is no such thing as having too many people love you.. Lucky boys! :)
You're my hero...
I know you'd much rather be home with them but I'm so happy for you that you have her! :)
No, she's certainly NOT YOU but she's about the next best thing, it sounds like. You are very blessed.
I had Ben in a home daycare when he was an infant and it was the most wonderful place. She ran that place SO well and had the best two ladies who helped and loved on my child like he was their own.
Oh it makes such a difference, I know JUST what you mean. We did not like our first daycare. We found a new one and it is just the best that my daughter could have, if she can't have us. Her provider is warm, loving, joyful, and genuinely enjoys kids. She teaches, she plays, she does crafts, and she CARES. It helps so very very much.
I'm so glad for you that you have someone like that for your boys.
And, um, score on the milk. I used to suck 'em dry and barely squeeze out a couple of ounces...
What a beautiful, beautiful tribute to a beautiful couple from a beautiful Mommy!
Isn't it great to find that person that loves your kids *almost* as much as you do?
And holy breastmilk... you. are. amazing.
It makes all the difference. I don't know what i would have done without my MIL watching my kids for me.
This is so beautiful. It really is! I want to punch her badly.
my eyes got all teary with this. i love how she loves them. how she took tommy downstairs to the dark and turned him in nursing position?! what a blessing. i'm so proud of you, erin.
Oh man, this is such a powerful post. To have someone like that, someone that you trust and that cares for your children in that way is such a gift. You are so blessed, and I envy you so very much.
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