Sometimes you have to take your victories in the smallest of forms.
Like playing a 239 point word in Scrabble, when you're so sleep-deprived that you can hardly remember how to spell your own name.
Or in crying three times on your first day of work, but only twice in the car and once at home instead of in front of people.
In your baby starting to army crawl AT NIGHT, when you were there to see it.
Sure, my house is so messy that I would die if someone stopped by, and I can't even imagine how or when I'll get the energy to clean, and I know I've been a horrible friend because I'm just all about ME ME ME and how I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up tomorrow with NO FRIENDS because I am just that bad of a friend right now, and I can't even begin to really tell you about last week because it was so heavy for me both personally (with things that don't even relate to work but that relate to being so scared and so worried for someone and her very new, very small someone) and professionally, but I'm getting there. Slowly. Counting the little victories and ignoring the massive failures.
Like playing a 239 point word in Scrabble, when you're so sleep-deprived that you can hardly remember how to spell your own name.
Or in crying three times on your first day of work, but only twice in the car and once at home instead of in front of people.
In your baby starting to army crawl AT NIGHT, when you were there to see it.
Sure, my house is so messy that I would die if someone stopped by, and I can't even imagine how or when I'll get the energy to clean, and I know I've been a horrible friend because I'm just all about ME ME ME and how I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up tomorrow with NO FRIENDS because I am just that bad of a friend right now, and I can't even begin to really tell you about last week because it was so heavy for me both personally (with things that don't even relate to work but that relate to being so scared and so worried for someone and her very new, very small someone) and professionally, but I'm getting there. Slowly. Counting the little victories and ignoring the massive failures.
32 comments:
We have all been there! (hugs)My son called our daycare provider "mom" for the longest time...and the friends that remain standing are the ones that really count!
Hugs to you Erin. I hope this week is better.
I agree with Heather. It is your real friends that are here and will remain here for you. I can't imagine that you have any massive failures. Everything just seems magnified right now. It will all level out and become managable soon. I promise. Sending big hugs your way.
1) You are not a bad friend
2) HANG IN THERE
3) LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are one of the strongest women I know... full of brilliance and humor and, most important, LOVE. Love of family. Love of friends. Love of life. All of these come shining through each post, each word, each action. You may be too tired to see it, but we do. All of us...
And forget the housekeeping. Plenty of time for that. As long as there's room to play and CRAWL (yeah!), that's plenty room enough! Lots of love... !!
um, no, you are the BEST. always. and i would be amazed if you had time for you/everything else going on, AND could still keep up with everyone else too. sometimes, i have trouble keeping up with more than just me and i don't have all of the things going on that you do. LOVE YOU!
First of all - scrabble QUEEN! Whoa. I could never ever do that. I think my high score on a word is like 22.
Second, I think the crying thing is a major victory!! Much better than losing in in front of your students (I have had that happen once and it's just awful). Plus you looked really cute for your first day back!
Third, I am so glad you were home for that milestone for Tommy. They are so hard to miss. I managed to catch my daughter's first steps while I was working full time and that was so lovely. I am happy for you there - I hope you continue to see them all!
Last, screw the house. Survival is most important and your friends I am sure will hang in there through this. I hope your friends very new, very small one is doing very very well. What a rough week!
I am in awe of you mad scrabble skills.
Oh Erin, you are so loved and I appreciate you as a friend. You are a great friend and don't ever doubt that.
Luke and tommy are not going to remember a clean or dirty house, they are going to remember that they had an awesome mom that put them first.
xoxo
You're doing a great job :)
(and you are so cute! Love that outfit!)
Ok, what? 239 points! You are brilliant. A brilliant scrabble player, teacher, friend and most of all mother.
And everyone else who's commenting is right. It doesn't matter if your house is messy. At the same time, I know it can make things more stressful, so I wish I lived closer, cuz I would come and clean it for you.
First of all, I can't even imagine a scabble score like that. I'm happy when my TOTAL breaks 250! :)
I'm so glad Tommy waited until night to crawl. I was terrified that I would be out of town for my boys' first steps, but they were nice to Mommy and waited until I got home.
*HUGS* to you. You're doing great!
Going on about yourself every once in a while doesn't make you a bad friend. It makes you a good one, because you're comfortable enough to share your true feelings. :-)
Hooray for small victories! Cut yourself a big fat slice of SLACK right now, lady. :) You are awesome!
I try and go to bed everynight w/ the sink clean:) Who gives a crap that the rest of the house looks as though an atomic bomb went off - I would rather spend those minutes before bed snuggling..
I cannot wait for things to spring forward..and everyone needs a little me me me moments every now and then:)
{{Hugs}} Keep your chin up, you're doing great and you're providing the best life for your little ones.
I've been sick for 2 weeks and I'm out of sick time at work, I feel like I'm neglecting my daughter and then she called the babysitter Mama and I lost it... but this, too, shall pass.
That is insane! (The scrabble part.) Seriously!! You should get an award or something.
And HUGS for the work situation. You are an awesome mom and quite obviously the hottest middle school teacher ever.
Keep your head up. Even though your boys are young, you are teaching them what a strong, hardworking Mommy they have. You friends will be there for you when you are ready. And the house, don't worry about the house.......
From one working Mommy to another, keep it up.
GREAT Scrabble word!
And yes...I totally understand the small happiness....
My daughter managed to wait until I was home to walk and I cried with joy.
I bet your friends understand more than you think, and are happy just to see your random tweets or posts showing you are staying afloat. You got a great word at Scrabble...that's always a good feeling, especially half asleep!
Nice butt kicking in Scrabble! That is very impressive.
Hugs and love. Friends understand.
you are doing great, erin. you are a WONDERFUL friend and mother. i'm so proud of you for looking at the small victories and for giving yourself grace in all that other stuff. i totally agree with Bri on that i can only say that the mess isn't that important for so long and the stress of it takes over. and it is WAY hard to let someone help you regarding that. i would, though. say the word.
NICE!!! And that wasn't me Sarah, because there is no WAY I would let you dominate me like that.... :)
You're doing it. If you need counseling...call me.
tommy is SO cute! those little car feetsies pressed to the floor for take off, that sure brings me back. my son army crawled too, it's the sweetest thing, except they fly at record speeds and get away from you. ;) by the way, my experience with that was 14 years ago, damn i'm old!
have a great week!
This is pretty awesome and so are you.
But that stupid word? TOTAL BULLSHIT.
You're NOT a bad friend silly girl. You're just goin' through some stuff right now. Everyone understands. And those who don't can well.... you know.... ;-P XOXOXO
I totally get it. It's a terrible bond to share with so many other women.
But you are doing wonderfully. You are beautiful and your children are beautiful.
I just love that a couch cushion is missing and it therefore looks like my house.
xoxo
just found your blog... we have all been there! :) I'm sure you'll still have friends in the morning. :)
Little victories is where it's at, lady!
I just have this sneaking suspicion that no one thinks you're a bad friend.
LOVE the new blog look. LOVE.
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