Ten Before Twenty-Ten

Originally I was going to post links to my ten favorite posts in 2009. Truth is, I'm pretty full of myself, so I would've ended up directing you to every post I wrote this past years, so instead, I looked through and decided to judge by comments. Let's be honest... comments are the fruit of blogging. Although I write mainly for myself, comments are like presents (and as I'm typing this, I'm noting to myself that I need to comment more because I'm so bad about reading and not commenting!). I love to get them. I love to respond to them if I can, and I promise that I treasure every single comment almost as much as I treasure all of you.

So instead, I categorized the ten most heavily commented posts of 2009 (excluding giveaways), which I suppose is a sort of reader's favorite list. I hope you'll read them and comment if you haven't. Or comment again. Just comment. And most importantly, I hope your last day of 2009 is enjoyable and this new year brings you nothing but blessings and happiness.

10. Half Baked

9. Can I Help To Cheer You?

8. Counting The Ways To Where You Are

7. Confessions of Perfection

6. Judge Not

5. Excuse me, but can I be you for awhile?

4. Say What?

3. Another Week, Another Year

2. The Worstiversary

1. Rocket Man

I'm sure it's no surprise to anyone that Tommy's birth story was the most heavily commented post! Although I don't pay attention to stats or anything of that sort, I admit that I check my analytics once or twice a month just to see how many hits Tommy's birth story gets. Since he was born, it remains my most heavily viewed posts, still averaging about 500 unique views a month. That to me is what blogging is about... the chance to share not just the ordinary, but the extraordinary. I can't wait to see 2010 brings.

Reflective

Lately, I wish I had a crystal ball. When people ask if I'm ready to go back to work, I just smile and say no. While the tiny voice inside my head says I'm scared, and I wish I had a way to calm that little voice, a crystal ball to look into the future to see that it'll be okay, that I won't completely fall apart on January 19th. Or if I do, that I'll piece myself back together.

But I also know that if I had a crystal ball, most likely all I'd see is what is in front of me right now.

The four of us, happy. Together.

Post-Christmas Hope

I hope you found everything you wanted beneath your tree.

I sure did.

Baby Where? Everywhere

I wore Tommy so much over the holidays, and it was so lovely. The best time that I wore him, though, was the Sunday before Christmas, when he was baptized. Having him in the sling made this experience so much more special. He wasn't nervous about what was going on, instead he just rested up against me watching our pastor curiously and trying to grab Shane's program.

Afterward, one of the old men at our church came up and said, "That thing is so neat. More people should do that!"

I couldn't agree more.
I'm not wearing him in this one because we were just about to head out the door, but I still really like it. Random items under the tree courtesy of Luke! We didn't put presents underneath it until Christmas Eve because of curious toddler hands, but he put all sorts of things underneath!
(Also, it really bothers me that the front of my dress is wrinkly in this picture. I ironed it, then put it on, and the front was still wrinkly, so I attacked it with wrinkle release spray before we left.)

Lazy Blogging

I am far too lazy to write a post of any substance, so I'm doing a year end meme. I did the same one last year.

Was 2009 good for you? It was!

What was your favorite moment of the year? Absolutely, 100% Tommy's birth.

What was your worst moment of the year? 2009 was pretty much the year of the stomach flu for me. I had it over and over and over...

Where were you when 2009 began? Honestly, I was 12 weeks pregnant, so I'm pretty sure I was sleeping.

Who were you with? Shane and Luke

Where will you be when 2009 ends? I had hoped to spend it with Shane and friends, but we don't have a babysitter, so it looks like it'll be a quiet evening at home. Unless anyone is interested in crashing, in which case, we have lots of board games, a fully stocked bar, and a husband who makes delicious food.

Did you keep your new years resolution of 2009? My resolution was to lose my baby weight quicker than with Luke, and I totally owned at that one. My other resolution was to get my hair cut every five weeks and colored every ten because, yes, I am that vapid. And yes, I did keep it.

Do you have a new years resolution for 2010? See, I generally don't make serious resolutions because I'm pretty awesome, but maybe to reach out to people more? That'd be a good one.

Did you fall in love in 2009? Yes

If yes, with who? Tommy!

Are you still in love? Yes

Did you breakup with anyone in 2009? No

Did you make any new friends in 2009? Yes

Who are your favorite new friends? Well, I got to meet Christy in January. Shortly after, I met Beth's sister Sarah who is like my candy eating soul sister. And I met Lovelyn in July.

What was your favorite month of 2009? July

Why this month? Tommy was born.

Did you travel outside of the US in 2009? No

How many different places did you travel to in 2009? Not a lot, as I was pregnant or just given birth for most of it. We did go to Wisconsin Dells, but I think that is about it!

Did you miss anybody in the past year? Yes, I miss friends who don't live nearby.

What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2009? Julie & Julia

What was your favorite song from 2009? I'm pretty fickle with songs.

How many concerts or plays did you see in 2009? None!

Did you have a favorite concert in 2009? I'm old...and yeah. I went to none.

What was your favorite book in 2009? Oh, I don't know. I read a lot, so it's hard to pick just one book. I really liked The Innocent Man by John Grisham.

How many people did you sleep with in 2009? Three-Shane, Luke, and Tommy.;)

Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? I'm sure I have, but nothing comes to mind immediately. I know I was not a very good mom to Luke right after Tommy was born. I was just so overwhelmed and not as patient.

What was the biggest lie you told in 2009? After Tommy was born, I told people I was taking it easy, when I really, really was not. I also said I didn't need help, when I did. Oh boy, did I ever.

Did you treat somebody badly in 2009? Yes.

Did somebody treat you badly in 2009? Yes.

What was your proudest moment of 2009? Birthing a beautiful, healthy baby boy.

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009? My whole life is one huge embarrassing moment! The biggest was probably when Luke somehow learned the word "dammit" and decided to scream it over and over in a crowded restaurant, until I actually had to take him outside with my hand clamped over his mouth, while every old person in the restaurant glared at me.

If you could go back to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be? Well. I'm pretty happy with 2009, but I think I would've liked a crystal ball to know how Tommy's birth would play out so I could have just planned a home birth and had Beth and my doula there on time!

Where did you work in 2009? Middle school

Favorite TV shows(s) of 2009? Scrubs

Favorite Band(s) of 2009? I am fickle, but I forever love Sufjan Stevens.

Favorite Food in 2009? Mmm, food. I love food. Probably cupcakes. And Tagalong blizzards. And oh, french fries and Redamak's cheeseburgers and waffle cones and brownies and cookies and chocolate chip bagels with chocolate chip cream cheese. And when I was pregnant with Tommy, this restaurant by my school had a fresh fruit plate that came with raisin bread. I used to eat this at least once a week! Oh, and fried cheese. When we went to the Dells, I discovered you could get room service fried cheese curds and ate those for two days straight!

Favorite Drink in 2009? Margaritas

Favorite Place in 2009? Home, with my boys. Barring that, the park on sunny days. Oh, and anywhere with friends.

Favorite person(s) to be with in 2009? Shane, Luke, and Tommy. Also, my girls.

Favorite person(s) to talk to in 2009? See above question.

Favorite trip in 2009? Loved taking Luke to the waterpark.

Favorite stores in 2009? Sephora

Hardest thing you had to go through in 2009? Leaving Luke every day. Other than that, 2009 was amazing. I have a feeling 2010 will be harder.

Most exciting moment(s) in 2009? Tommy's birth will probably be the most exciting moment of my life. I hope so, anyway!

Funniest moment(s) in 2009? Okay, on the last day of school, myself and two of my team teachers were standing in the hall as the kids were leaving. This awful girl who gave me nothing but trouble the entire year ran past us and screamed, "I'M SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO BE IN YOUR F***ING CLASSES ANYMORE." And instead of being all, GASP and chasing her down, I said, "Right back at you!" and then we all started high fiving. I don't think it was the reaction she wanted, but it was hilarious.

The Merriest

From our family to yours...

My Intuition

Christmas Eve 2006, Shane and I did the reading at church, as always. Only this year, I endured jokes about how I should've played the Virgin Mary, because of my big belly. I didn't mind it, though. I loved it.

As I read these words, "And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost:" the babe within me hiccuped. I remember smiling that secret smile that only pregnant women have.

A few days later, my mom and I were doing some post-Christmas shopping, and we came across a great sale at Marshall's. Tables upon tables of Christmas ornaments, all heavily discounted. And I came across this ornament:

I bought it, without even a thought. Like Tommy, I didn't find out the gender, but unlike Tommy, I KNEW from the moment I was pregnant that I was having a boy. From the moment I saw those two pink lines, I just knew. Truly if Luke had come out a girl, I probably would've argued with my midwife. And so, Luke's very first ornament came to be, two months before he was born, two months before anyone really even KNEW. But I did.

Of Love

My grandparents were married for an amazing sixty years. Having been married for only three, this number seems impossibly high to me. It’s not that I can’t imagine still being married to my husband after all those years, but it’s that I am simply in awe of the thought waking up next to the same person after all those years.



But what my grandparents taught me was not about the importance of a long marriage, but rather, the importance of love. The kind of love that moves mountains, the kind of love that saves you, and yes, the kind of love that knows when to let go.

The last few years of their marriage were not easy. My grandmother suffered from dementia, and as time continued on, her mind began to deteriorate. Slowly at first, then swiftly, as she lost names and the ability to dress herself. Once, I stayed with her in the evening because my grandfather had to be somewhere, and she pleaded with me to take her home. We were at her house, but this wasn’t what she meant. She wanted to go home; to the house where she grew up because she insisted that her parents and sister were waiting for her. I didn’t know what to say, and I knew that telling her they were long dead wouldn’t matter, so I suggested we go for a walk. We walked past my aunt’s house, and she told me her daughter lived there, and asked if I knew her.

This loss, this absence of my grandmother was heartbreaking to me, so much that I couldn’t imagine my grandfather’s pain. Yet, he was there for her every day, wanting so much for the day when she would turn her sparkling blue eyes on him and remember, remember everything that they had once had. I don’t know if she ever did, but I do know that she once wrote him a note thanking him for taking such good care of her, for being her special friend. She wrote that she loved him. He still has the note in his wallet.

Toward the end, my grandmother was very ill. She eventually lapsed into an unresponsive state, but she continued to hang on, despite the odds. See, every day, my grandpa would visit her and every night, as he left her side, he’d tell her to get well. He’d tell her that soon, she’d be able to come home with him. Until one night, when he said, “Nancy, it’s okay. You can let go. I’ll be okay without you.” The next morning, before the sun was even close to kissing the sky, she let go.

I’ve thought of this story so many times, and it never fails to give me chills when I think of her selflessness in hanging on for him. And of his, in telling her it was okay to let go.




That look touches every corner of my heart

Originally posted November 1, 2008. Still one of my favorites.

Salon Selective

I struggled with whether or not to blog about this, but after everyone (including my DAD) encouraged me to do so, I thought I'd take their heed.

Let me preface this story that while I am one of those people who brings my baby with me most everywhere I go, partly because I feed on demand and partly because I go back to work in a month and I will MISS him, I am not one of those people who thinks everyone needs to admire my precious baby. I think he is sweet, but if he cries or is disruptive in an inappropriate situation, I will absolutely remove myself from that situation. In fact, when I received an invitation to a friend's shower that stated no children, please, I RSVPd and said I couldn't make it because I couldn't leave Tommy. The sweet girl organizing the shower wrote back immediately and assured me that it would be fine for me to bring him, they just didn't want a lot of loud toddlers. And as the mother of a loud toddler, BOY DO I GET THAT. Anyway, the point is, I try to be appropriate, got it?

A week ago, I went to a new salon/spa to get my eyebrows waxed. I'd never been to this place before, but a girl I've known for most of my life works there and so, I wanted to throw her some business. I brought Tommy with me and everyone aww'd over how sweet he was. He was awake the whole time, but spent all of it smiling and being cute. As a new customer, I received a coupon for $15 off a service, so I made an appointment for a pedicure this week. Since I'm on maternity leave, I don't really have much money to spend on myself, so the $15 off made me able to squeeze it in my budget.
I arrived with Tommy, who was fast asleep, and my friend took me to the back to a separate pedicure room. I settled in with my feet in the water, selecting a polish color, when my friend left the room. She came back in and told me that, actually, she couldn't do my pedicure. I thought that maybe she was accidentally double booked, until she told me that she was informed that babies were not allowed in the pedicure room because it could be a disturbance. I could tell she was uncomfortable having to tell me this. I said, Oh. and apologized, explaining that Tommy is so good and quiet that I don't usually think twice about bringing me with him, especially since I'd had him in the salon just the week prior. She apologized saying she would've told me if she'd known, but she had no idea this was a rule, either. She did do a quick polish change for me, which was sweet of her, but let's be honest... I can easily paint my own toes at home. If I drive 25 minutes to a salon, it's because I desperately need some pampering.
As I left the salon, blinking back tears with my baby who was still fast asleep, I looked around, noting absolutely no signs stating that children were not allowed. I saw several saying that cell phones should be turned off. When I arrived home, I checked the site, seeing nothing on there stating no children, either, until I dug about four pages in where it said "children under 15 by appointment only", so I will certainly take the blame for not looking deeper into the site, as I didn't even think to check the site before going (and honestly, that statement is pretty ambiguous... so I can take a two year old with me if I've made an appointment?). I did Google salon+no children and came up with many salons who list on the main page of their website that no children are allowed. I have absolutely no problem with this rule AT ALL and understand it, especially because I would never dream of bringing Luke to a salon. Now, I also understand that as a private business, they can make some rules as they see fit, but I was so blindsided by this and felt it poor business practice in many ways.
First, I had him with me the week prior and nothing was said then, nor was anything said when I made the appointment. If this is a hard and fast rule, when I scheduled my appointment, why didn't the receptionist say, "I notice you brought your baby today, just a heads up, we don't allow babies in the pedicure area."? Second, once I was there WITH MY FEET IN THE WATER, couldn't someone have just said, "Hey, we don't normally allow babies back here, but since no one told you, we'll go ahead and do your pedicure today, just please take him out in the lobby if he begins to cry."? In that I've been to many salons and seen women with children of various ages, I find it hard to believe that I am the first person to ever bring a baby with me. In fact, the salon where I get my hair cut is extremely baby and breastfeeding friendly (they do not do pedicures, sadly). In the end, I just do not understand why it is not stated explicitly on the website, why it is not in the salon, and why no one seemed aware of it, yet it is such a hard and fast rule that I had to leave.

Truthfully, I was embarrassed. I felt awkward, I felt stupid, and I felt confused. Is it the end of the world that I was turned away from my pedicure appointment? Oh my, NO, I am not silly enough to think that this matters at all in the grand scheme of life. But I am disappointed in myself not saying something there, for just walking out and crying in my car. I felt like I was in a bad position because I didn't want to cause trouble for a friend, knowing it wasn't her fault at all, but at the same time, I also feel I was treated poorly, perhaps unfairly, and it bothers me. Since this experience, though, I've talked to several people who have also had bad experiences at this particular salon, so I suppose it's reflective of the owner, not of my choice to bring my baby with me. Again, please do not think I would begrudge a salon/spa for having a no children rule. I do not at all, but as not all places are the same, if a place does have this rule, it needs to be explicitly stated somewhere. The sad thing is that I had planned on asking Shane for a gift certificate for Valentine's Day, but now? I'll be taking my business elsewhere.

The First Noel

The first Noel the angel did say
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay;
In fields where they lay tending their sheep,
On a cold winter’s night that was so deep.

They looked up and saw a star
Shining in the east, beyond them far;
And to the earth it gave great light,
And so it continued both day and night.

And by the light of that same star
Three Wise Men came from country far;
To seek for a King was their intent,
And to follow the star wherever it went.

This star drew nigh to the northwest,
Over Bethlehem it took its rest;
And there it did both stop and stay,
Right over the place where Jesus lay.

Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel,
Born is the King of Israel.

You Capture: Holiday Decor

Best Of

I've seen a few people chronicling some of their best posts from this year, and I thought I'd do that since I'll be busy baking today and going to important appointments (okay, getting a pedicure). I looked through my archives and couldn't really find any words that I loved enough to share again. Instead I found pictures. My best face, my best body, my best love. I've never felt so beautiful in my life as when I was pregnant with Tommy. I remember when I was taking a license renewal course a week before my due date, the instructor asked when I was due, and I chirped, "A week from Thursday!" She almost fell over because she thought I had another month because I was so happy and energetic still. I just loved it. My big belly, the life that moved inside of me, the wondering whether it was a boy or a girl, dreaming about labor and meeting my baby. Love for every moment.


I touched my belly all the time, feeling him from the inside and out. When I was teaching, I'd be in the front of the room and notice that I was rubbing my belly while lecturing. I couldn't stop myself. Sometimes my students would notice the jumping movements of the life in me. Sometimes I'd gasp at a particularly hard movement and they'd laugh.

Joy. So much joy, this year.

Photos by Beth Fletcher Photography

Ornamental

27 years ago, a baby girl was born. Her very special aunt made her an ornament.

27 years later, the ornament still hangs proudly on the tree, and as life tends to go, she now has babies of her own. They have their own ornaments, hanging even prouder on the tree.


The boys, as seen on Halloween.

Pieces of Peace

This season can be so very overwhelming. Sometimes I wish it gone. Sometimes I curse the papercuts on my hands from stuffing Christmas cards. All of the time, I wish I had more money so I could give my husband a wonderful gift, to let him know how much I love him.

But then sometimes, I run to the mailbox and hope for Christmas cards from friends and family. Sometimes I buy gifts for people and just KNOW they are right. Sometimes I receive gifts and just KNOW that the giver was right, and even more than the gift itself is the knowledge that they love me enough to really, truly know me.

Sometimes I forget what it's all about. But then, every year on Christmas Eve, I remember. For the past five years, Shane and I have done the Christmas Eve reading at our church. Speaking in front of a completely packed church is nerve-wracking. My heart pounds and I wish I didn't have to do it.

Until I speak those familiar words, "For unto you is born this day," and my heart swells with the remembrance of what it's REALLY all about, why we really do it all. I think about Mary and how she must have felt, as a woman, as a mother. This year, I imagine I'll think about how every birth is a miracle, and even though she knew that hers was to be the miracle of all miracles, she was probably still scared and uncertain. Giving birth alone and out of your comfort level is something I know all too well. I didn't have an angel telling me it was going to be okay, but I had my own angels making it okay, for that I am certain. And for that I am thankful. Thankful that she gave so selflessly of herself and body, of the child she cared, so that I may sometimes be selfish and forget what it's all about, but always come back knowing that it's okay that it took me awhile to remember. That it's okay that I'm not always perfect and may sometimes never be the mother she was. It's okay.

This Christmas, I will remember the big miracle, but I will also remember the little miracles in my life. The boys who make blurry photos because they won't stay still. The floor that's messy because we played game after game of Candy Land.

For all these miracles, my heart is full.

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Yesterday Luke and I were sharing a very delicious lunch of shrimp cocktail, hummus, and bananas when he pointed at the lemon slices that came with the cocktail and said, "mmm, lemonade." Now I could have explained that lemons don't taste like lemonade, but if you know me, you know I said, "Wait! Let mommy get her camera."



After his initial, hilarious reaction, he then proceeded to eat all of the lemon slices. That's my boy! Someday I'll teach him how good lemon slices are with a sprinkle of sugar after a shot of vodka. But not for a very, very long time.

You Capture: Lines

I had this fabulous idea for this week's You Capture. I was going to go to the beach and take a picture of the horizon, because what's a more perfect line than that? Except that it was eleventy-billion degrees below zero yesterday and very windy. I briefly considered it because I bet there were some angry waves that would have made for great photos, but in the end, I just didn't feel like getting hypothermia.

Instead, I played around with some photos I took of my still blooming rosebush yesterday. I've never used the macro setting on my camera before, but I managed to get a few decent shots of all the little lines that make up a snow flake.


Snow is pretty. I just wish it wasn't so cold.

Yellow Rose of Winter

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
Albert Camus


Bloom on, you crazy rose, bloom on.

Tinsel

Two years ago

It's hard to believe that Luke was once this size. This was his big present. A truck filled with blocks, custom made by my dad (the truck, not the blocks).

We don't go all out for Christmas. I was raised in a family where we had a small amount of gifts, but all of them so very special. I like it that way, though. I remember those special gifts, instead of just having plastic toy after plastic toy under the tree. Shane and I have made the decision to have Christmas like that for our children. Sure, part of it is financial, but another part of it is that we simply want our children to focus on more than STUFF.
This year, Luke's two gifts are vacuum cleaners. One of them a stick vac, the other a toy vacuum. I cannot WAIT to see his happiness when he comes down the stairs on Christmas morning. All he talks about is how he wants Santa to bring him a vacuum cleaner, and I'm so thankful we're able to make his wish come true.
And this guy...

His first Christmas. We didn't really get him anything, except that I plan to kiss him eight million times. I don't think he'll complain.

Christmas for me means a myriad of things. It's stressful and annoying. It makes a mess, like tinsel.
And yet, like tinsel, it's shiny and beautiful. It's everywhere, in everything, in a good way. It sparkles in the lights. It doesn't last long, and we miss it when it's gone.

However you celebrate Christmas, whether you have just a few presents or piles under the tree and a car with a bow on it in the drive, my wish is that you'll just sit back and let it sparkle for you.

Put A Ring On It

Six years ago today, Shane asked me to marry him. It wasn't a proposal under the Eiffel Tower or one where a skywriter posed the question for him, but it was so perfectly US.

It was a Sunday. Shane invited me over to his (now our) house for dinner. I don't remember what the main course was, but he made chocolate dipped strawberries for dessert. He surely knew the way to my heart.
After dinner, he handed me a card that simply said, "Will you...?" on the inside. When I looked up, he was down on one knee. I started shaking and said, YES. He opened the ring box and inside was the UGLIEST RING I HAVE EVER SEEN. It was bright gold and had a tiny diamond and it was hideous. I mustered an, "It's....beautiful" before Shane burst out laughing and pulled the real ring from his pocket, a white gold round cut diamond that was so perfectly me. The first ring? He got out of a gumball machine, and oh, I wish I could tell you that I still had it, but it's gotten lost over the years.

A proposal like that is just so definitive of who we are. We tease, laugh, joke, call each other names ALL the time. We're rarely serious, and for that, I am so glad. Almost as glad as I am that I said yes, so strong in my conviction that yes was right that I was even willing to wear the ugliest ring ever on my finger. And you know? I would have worn it proudly.

Back then. We were BABIES.

(Except that this was actually about six months after we got engaged because Indiana in December is stupid cold and not pretty and green.)

Edit: I have to share this, but if ANYONE TELLS SHANE I WILL STAB YOU. I kind of sort of knew I'd be getting engaged because I kind of sort of found the receipt for the ring in a drawer a few months prior. Totally by accident. Okay, I was rifling through drawers, but STILL. In my excitement, I totally forgot that I knew the ring details and actually thought the uggo gumball machine ring was it. Oh, and I've never told him because my nosiness drives him crazy. I'll tell him someday. Like, when he's deaf. Get it? I'll be all, "Honey, I found the receipt for my ring three months before you gave it to me." And he'll be all, "WHAT? SPEAK UP, I CAN'T HEAR YOU." And I'll be all, "I said, I LOVE YOU, NOW GO MAKE ME COOKIES," but it will still technically count as telling him. And I'll get cookies. I am SO SMART.

Edit x2: This is our formal engagement photo. BABIES.

Excuse me, but can I be you for awhile?

Last night I had this whole post written in my mind at 2AM, as I was nursing Tommy and crying. I was going to tell you how this is my last full month of maternity leave, and how I'm frustrated that I'm spending it with a thumb wound and how I spent two days bedridden with the flu. It involved the admission that I am scared, so scared, to return to work and that I don't think we can have any more children, simply because I cannot bear to go through this again. I was going to really tell you how as sad as it makes me that I have to go back to work, it makes my husband even sadder because he feels like he is failing as a husband. And I hate that he feels that way, oh, do I ever.

Today I'm still scared. I haven't been apart from Tommy for longer than half an hour since his sweet body first landed in my hands. How will I handle NINE HOURS a day, five days a week? I don't know, but I know there is a strength within me bigger than I can imagine. I know I can do it, simply because I have no choice. But I also know that I can keep hoping for the right part-time job or maybe for someone to just walk up to me and hand me a check for $20,000 and tell me to stay home for two more years, and it's probably okay to never let go of those hopes. I wish that I knew what it was like to not have to take a maternity leave, to just BE at home, but I know that there are many, MANY people who would wish to be in my position. Healthy children, a happy marriage, great health insurance, a steady job. The boys have a sitter who lives so very close to us, who is like family. Who calls to let us know when she finds boys' clothes on sale and calls to tell us she loves our Christmas card and who was one of the first people we called the morning after Tommy was born. Who I can TRUST with my children. Oh, I know I am blessed. And as a teacher, I know that the kids who have behavior problems are almost equally the children of parents who work and a parent who stays home, so I never fear that my children are somehow getting LESS because one of us cannot be with them all day long.

It's just.

I'm going to miss this face so much.

Handmade For The Holidays

This weekend, I finished most of my Christmas shopping on Etsy. Unfortunately, it turns out that I was doing it with the start of the flu, so I'm a little worried that I didn't pick the right gifts for people. I mean, I don't think I got anything TOO bizarre, I just hope I made the right choices!
Anyway, while I was feverishly searching Etsy, I found some adorable items that didn't really fit with Christmas gifts, but that were too adorable not to share. If you're my husband, you should consider this a Christmas gift list. If you're not my husband, you should be teaching my husband what a blog is and how to access mine.

I love collage art and funky, creative designs, so when I came across Allison Strine Designs, I swooned. And then I saw this:

I'm pretty sure it was made for me, because I have a very intense love for candy corn. All of her designs are available as a print, pendant, card, or magnet. I have a vision of Wine Tops Her Food Pyramid hanging in my kitchen and She's Her Own Kind of Beautiful in my bathroom and She Decided She Was Worth It in my bedroom and Yes She Can in every single room in my house. Aren't they amazing? I'm so inspired and in awe of her prints.

And then yesterday, It's Elemental added me on Twitter. Probably because I spend my non-feverish hours tweeting about how much I love Etsy. Here's the thing... I'm very picky about bags, to the point where I'll almost always choose kate spade over something on Etsy. But then I saw that this seller uses Amy Butler inspired fabrics, and SWOON. The ribbons and bows and bright colors make me dizzy, in a good way. Especially this one:

And definitely this one, too. I just think those would be the most perfect bags, especially for those with babies (LIKE ME) because they could double as a diaper bag.

And finally, this isn't Etsy, but Shane if you're reading this, I would really like a Sakura Bloom silk sling. A girl can dream, right?

To see a list of even more amazing sellers, check out Beth's blog. I found some good Christmas presents in that list!

I am fresh out of thumb-related puns

Note: I wrote this Saturday night, when I was just starting to get feverish from the flu. I almost wasn't going to post it, but then I decided that feverish Erin is kind of funny. And probably not that different from real Erin.

I'm going to share a photo of this pecan pie that I made with my left hand the night I cut my thumb. Thankfully of the two pie crusts I made, one was tucked safely in the fridge and thus did not get hit by any arterial spray (do you like how dramatic I am? Do thumbs even have arteries?), so I was able to make it into a pecan pie because pecan pie does not involve any cutting.


The crust edges are not crimped or fancy looking because I was doing it one handed and wouldn't let Shane help, because it felt heroic to do it myself.

Here's a picture of me eating the pie, which I want to share with you so you can see how awkwardly I have to hold my fork. (If any of my friends comment and say this is how I always hold my fork, they are filthy liars and you should not listen to them.)

That is not my sippy cup. For the most part, I'm still allowed to use big people utensils. This is also not my house. I do not have a giant photo of a pug on my fridge.
I also wanted to share this picture to let you know that Shane did my hair. I could not figure out how to work my flat iron with my left hand without burning myself, nor could I position a clip correctly. Shane did both for me because he loves me. He's also been changing diapers because Tommy keeps grabbing my thumb during diaper changes. His only downside right now is that he won't throw away the apple wedger because he said it's still just fine since he washed it. What's strange is that Shane is very squeamish so it seems out of his character to keep it, which means that he's probably keeping it around to taunt me with at a later date.

Oh, and I was kind of excited because I thought that since I cut off the part of my thumb that has the fingerprint lines, then I wouldn't have fingerprints. But it turns out that skin is really amazing and you basically have to have leprosy to make it so that your fingerprints disappear. I was disappointed because I'd planned out this entire life of crime that involved only using my thumb and baffling the police (except that I'm totally going through that post-partum massive hair loss stage right now so they'd track me that way, probably), but also not disappointed, because at least I don't have leprosy.

Anyway, the whole point of this post was not to celebrate my not having leprosy (which is good), but to see whether you agree with me in that the apple wedger should be burned and then tossed down a deep well, or if you're like Shane and think it's not the apple wedgers fault that I'm clumsy.