Lately, I wish I had a crystal ball. When people ask if I'm ready to go back to work, I just smile and say no. While the tiny voice inside my head says I'm scared, and I wish I had a way to calm that little voice, a crystal ball to look into the future to see that it'll be okay, that I won't completely fall apart on January 19th. Or if I do, that I'll piece myself back together.
But I also know that if I had a crystal ball, most likely all I'd see is what is in front of me right now.
The four of us, happy. Together.
But I also know that if I had a crystal ball, most likely all I'd see is what is in front of me right now.
The four of us, happy. Together.
19 comments:
You will be okay. You'll get through it because you are strong and this is your situation for now. You are a good mother and a good teacher, and as much as it feels like you can't sometimes - you CAN be both if you need to. Spring break and then summer break will be here before you know it. You can make it. ((((hugs)))
My heart sinks for you. :( That must be such a tough decision. I was able to stay home for 6/7 years and there are times when it drove me crazy, but I'm glad I was able to have that chance. :) It'll all be ok :)
Erin, this is the most spectacular photo I have ever seen. The symbols and colors... the circle of life and the earth and the brilliant red love all encasing your beautiful family. That life and that love will never change... but, as you know, I know exactly how you feel. Nothing will make you feel better until your routine is pretty set and the days roll into one another with that certainty that they tend to do. I agree with Krista that the little vacations and days off here and there are coming... and I know these days are wondrous. When my Janie was an infant (29 years ago!) and I was returning to work after Christmas vacation, I truly became the best scheduler in the universe. My time with laundry or housework or correcting papers became things I did only when the kids were sleeping or really engaged in playing or if they were helping me (ha ha!!!). I scheduled a different thing each day and we had a little rhyme about it. I'm going to have to rely on my kids to remember the whole thing, but I do remember that Thursday was Sundae... it was the day we stopped to get ice cream sundaes right after school. We also had swimming lessons and playground time and a library day... things that we all looked forward to after school, kind of like helping ME deal with being away from them. I guess setting into a routine is what makes everything a little better. But I get it. I get how you feel. And I know how awful the feeling is... I am hoping and praying for you. One thing I CAN tell you is that before you blink your eyes, both Luke and Tommy will be in school themselves... and any future little ones!!... and then everything will be just perfect. Trust me!
You always have such beautiful, original posts. That photo is absolutely amazing. I think you will be fine. I say that because from everything I've read from your blog, you seem like a very strong person. Good luck with everything!
You made me cry (who's emotional??)
We both go back to work this month after having our sweet ones. I'm guessing we will just cherish the weekends all the more. Right?
Not to mention you have the whole summer off too!
I just adore this photo of the four of you.
love this picture SO much!
i am praying for you about this.
What a gorgeous photo and yes things will be fine. I know it is hard going back to work (I put it off for a month and when I finally returned only stayed for three) but you will get in a groove.
Gorgeous photo, just gorgeous!
You know I understand how you feel about going back, even with the lovely breaks. I am dreading going back on Monday enough (and it's only been two weeks) you have my full sympathy and I'll be thinking about you when that day comes.
January 19th? Bah.
Love to you.
They view in that Crystal ball is amazing. You wouldn't want another.
is that the botanic gardens?
also, when january 19th comes, you will be ok. because of that very reflection. it isn't going anywhere. it is yours, every single day, to carry with you while you're at work, and to embrace every afternoon at 3:00. (also, i am only a phone call or text or email away).
love you.
Erin, I love you and I have been thinking about you a lot. I know that you will be able to do it because you are such a good mother. And, I know you are a good teacher, too (I have witnessed both!). I know things will be different, but if there is anything I know about you, it is that you handle the important things in your life very well.
I am rooting for you!
I know it's going to be hard on you friend. Do the best you can to enjoy the couple of weeks. I'm still hoping and praying that your dreams for something else can come true.
Love the photo! I have a similar one from last year. So neat!
great picture, erin! i love it.
RAD photo.
I wish we didn't have to work. SUCKS.
Today I found out they are cutting five hours off my work week. The cut in money is going to hurt, but part of me...a little part of me...wanted it to be more so I could spend time with my son. More time, that is. I'm luckier than most, but I want more time. I want to watch him grow and develop and be a mom who can help him learn about life each day . . .
Hang in there...You'll make it through!
That is an awesome picture! I promise you that all will be okay in the end. You can do this and you will do it well. Just keep thinking spring break...that always helps me!!
Such a cool photo.
It will be OK; you will be OK and most importantly, he will be OK.
You'll find peace.
What an amazing picture...such simplicity. I hope the next few weeks are filled with every joy you have felt in the past 4 months quadrupled! You are so strong for admitting your fears...so many understand. I can only imagine the tears that fall when no one is looking...I know I would have some.
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