But then sometimes, I run to the mailbox and hope for Christmas cards from friends and family. Sometimes I buy gifts for people and just KNOW they are right. Sometimes I receive gifts and just KNOW that the giver was right, and even more than the gift itself is the knowledge that they love me enough to really, truly know me.
Sometimes I forget what it's all about. But then, every year on Christmas Eve, I remember. For the past five years, Shane and I have done the Christmas Eve reading at our church. Speaking in front of a completely packed church is nerve-wracking. My heart pounds and I wish I didn't have to do it.
Until I speak those familiar words, "For unto you is born this day," and my heart swells with the remembrance of what it's REALLY all about, why we really do it all. I think about Mary and how she must have felt, as a woman, as a mother. This year, I imagine I'll think about how every birth is a miracle, and even though she knew that hers was to be the miracle of all miracles, she was probably still scared and uncertain. Giving birth alone and out of your comfort level is something I know all too well. I didn't have an angel telling me it was going to be okay, but I had my own angels making it okay, for that I am certain. And for that I am thankful. Thankful that she gave so selflessly of herself and body, of the child she cared, so that I may sometimes be selfish and forget what it's all about, but always come back knowing that it's okay that it took me awhile to remember. That it's okay that I'm not always perfect and may sometimes never be the mother she was. It's okay.
This Christmas, I will remember the big miracle, but I will also remember the little miracles in my life. The boys who make blurry photos because they won't stay still. The floor that's messy because we played game after game of Candy Land.
Sometimes I forget what it's all about. But then, every year on Christmas Eve, I remember. For the past five years, Shane and I have done the Christmas Eve reading at our church. Speaking in front of a completely packed church is nerve-wracking. My heart pounds and I wish I didn't have to do it.
Until I speak those familiar words, "For unto you is born this day," and my heart swells with the remembrance of what it's REALLY all about, why we really do it all. I think about Mary and how she must have felt, as a woman, as a mother. This year, I imagine I'll think about how every birth is a miracle, and even though she knew that hers was to be the miracle of all miracles, she was probably still scared and uncertain. Giving birth alone and out of your comfort level is something I know all too well. I didn't have an angel telling me it was going to be okay, but I had my own angels making it okay, for that I am certain. And for that I am thankful. Thankful that she gave so selflessly of herself and body, of the child she cared, so that I may sometimes be selfish and forget what it's all about, but always come back knowing that it's okay that it took me awhile to remember. That it's okay that I'm not always perfect and may sometimes never be the mother she was. It's okay.
This Christmas, I will remember the big miracle, but I will also remember the little miracles in my life. The boys who make blurry photos because they won't stay still. The floor that's messy because we played game after game of Candy Land.
For all these miracles, my heart is full.
18 comments:
Very true. A great reminder to us all.
beautiful and so very true
wonderful post Erin!
Thank you for this... I needed to "hear" it.
Oh that pink tree! Love it..
I need to remember to be more thankful for blurry pictures too. That's means I have a healthy happy child!
The bigger picture is what really matters the most. Especially this year..
Thanks for reminding us.
Very nice!
Thanks for this reminder, I needed something to help put me in the spirit.
This is so beautiful Erin. So beautiful and so true.
How very true. Thanks for reminding us what the season is truly about. You can't have Christmas without CHRIST.
And my heart is full from reading your post and looking at the incredible picture. I'm so glad we're privy to your thoughts and beautiful, moving writing.
So, so true. And what an awesome shot that is!
I love posts like this - straight from the heart. So beautiful Erin. Happy Holidays girl!
Erin, I love this. And for someone who is about to experience one "small miracle" around the time of the "ultimate miracle," it is especially special. :)
I LOVE this post and this photo is my favorite.
Steph
what a gorgeous photo! such a very good post. my mind has been on the true meaning of the season quite a bit more than usual. having a child will give you a better perspective on that, i think. :)
Such a beautiful post and absolutely lovely picture. Thanks for the reminder. It truly is all about Him.
yes! beautiful.
love that picture!
So beautiful.
So very true, and a wonderful reminder.
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