I've come a long way from the high school days of skipping meals and desserts and pinching my side, while saying that I needed to lose weight. Once at a swimming party, I came out of the bathroom in my teeny bikini and everyone was quiet, until one girl finally said, "Erin. You're so skinny," and not in a good way. I don't remember what I said, but I'm sure I insisted that I wasn't.
Except. I weighed 100 pounds.
My body has been through a lot since then. It has stretched and widened to grow a nine pound baby. It bears the battle scars of childbirth and nursing. It has felt sleepless nights and held feverish babies and reached breaking points but still kept going. It's a body that would've made my 18 year old self recoil in horror.
Except. It's beautiful.
Once when I was 13, my grandma overheard me say that I wished I could get plastic surgery to remove my freckles. She yelled me, angrily. The angriest I've ever heard my grandma. She told me they were beautiful, they were special, that they made me who I am. She didn't say, Oh, I know, I hate mine, too. Instead, she stopped and made me love them. And I have, every day since then. I don't have girls, but I teach girls. I have friends with daughters. And for them, I will love my body. For them, I will stop pointing out flaws and pinching fat. For them, I will remember what my grandma taught me. For them, I will never, ever again skip dessert. For them, I will look at photos of myself and point out the good. For them, I will enjoy looking at photos of myself, whether they're taken on days when I'm at my best.
Or days when I haven't slept.
For them, I will love myself.
Except. I weighed 100 pounds.
My body has been through a lot since then. It has stretched and widened to grow a nine pound baby. It bears the battle scars of childbirth and nursing. It has felt sleepless nights and held feverish babies and reached breaking points but still kept going. It's a body that would've made my 18 year old self recoil in horror.
Except. It's beautiful.
Once when I was 13, my grandma overheard me say that I wished I could get plastic surgery to remove my freckles. She yelled me, angrily. The angriest I've ever heard my grandma. She told me they were beautiful, they were special, that they made me who I am. She didn't say, Oh, I know, I hate mine, too. Instead, she stopped and made me love them. And I have, every day since then. I don't have girls, but I teach girls. I have friends with daughters. And for them, I will love my body. For them, I will stop pointing out flaws and pinching fat. For them, I will remember what my grandma taught me. For them, I will never, ever again skip dessert. For them, I will look at photos of myself and point out the good. For them, I will enjoy looking at photos of myself, whether they're taken on days when I'm at my best.
Or days when I haven't slept.
For them, I will love myself.
21 comments:
LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! You are beautiful, inside and out, and I'm glad that you're conscious of modeling your behavior for the young girls you know and teach... we should all do that!
I watched a Kathy Griffin special the other night and she said, "You know what these thighs say? They say I take a bite out of life!" Totally made me laugh. :)
Great post!
Thanks so much for sharing!
I hope that someday I can reach the point of a positive body image mindset. :/
Can you believe how far we've come since then? Wow. It feels like another lifetime. I'm not sure we could have ever known then that we'd still know each other now, but I am so grateful that we do! :) And that I can look back and think "wow, I remember that.." and have it seem like it's been an eternity since I had to worry like that. (because it really has been. and i'm glad.) love you!
ps. i still love that haircut!
I love this. And as another mama of boys (3 of them over here), I think it's important we do this for the sake of our sons, too - so that they grow up with a view of women who are happy with who they are, what they look like; rather than growing up believing that women are supposed to pinch and scowl and degrade themselves. Beautiful post. (found you via several places around the net) ;)
Love you post and your honesty. I am the mother of a boy and a girl and like you mentioned, my body bears the scars of motherhood. I can only hope that as my little girl grows up I can teach her to love her freckles and everything else.
I love this post! And I am so glad that you feel this way... Want to share your secret?
Excellent post! We need more of this kind of attitude in our society today!
p.s. also, there will be no skipping of dessert here either! ; )
You never know what the future might hold for you. But should it happen to hold a daughter...she's most definitely in good hands.
yes! thank you for this. i try to be so intentional with my words regarding this because of our 4 girls, but know that my HEART needs to work on it, too. kids know so quickly when our (my!) words don't match our (my!) heart.
I'm pretty sure you should write some sort of book for girls to learn how to love who they are inside and out.
Or something.
I LOVE this.
Bottle this power you have and sell it. I will be first in line to buy. Me and my fat (which I actually have, as I've NEVER weighted 100 pounds...ever...I think I was born at 150) have never been on good terms.
I love you so so so much and am very proud of your for this and everything else you do!
Your stupid blog should come with a warning. It would say, "Hey Sarah, START CRYING NOW."
This is beautiful.
I once heard an old man say that a woman without freckles is like a midnight sky without stars. I've never forgotten that, it was so neat.
This is such an amazing post, lady. I don't even know what to say. So good and true and inspiring.
Wow, Erin, great post, great message!
Yep, it is beautiful. Even more beautiful. XO.
I hated my freckles growing up, but I've long since forgotten I even have them which is silly since I have them head to toe!
Looking forward to meeting you in January!
For this post I love you so much.
Steph
This post needs to be circulated throughout every elementary and middle school... to give girls the true meaning of not only beauty, but a sense of self as an individual. We are all different. We are all unique. We are all gloriously beautiful. I know we blame the media (I do, too), but we might want to start TEACHING more than blaming. It's funny, because when I challenged myself to step outside my comfort zone and take a pole dancing class, I did it as sort of a mind exercise. But what I have discovered is even better... all the women in my class have slowly begun to remove items of clothing that covers us... revealing not some sexy purring kitten, but a wonderful body. A body that may poke out here and there in short-shorts and boots, but there it is... PURITY! There is no reason on earth that girls should suffer so at body and face image. We should embrace our differences and shout out with you!!
That is a wonderful post Erin!!
I am battling with Boo about body image and loving yourself, and she is a only 7. I show her through actions that even though I am not the "perfect" body shape, I LOVE my body and all it comes with!
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