I'm going to admit something here that I've never admitted before, ever. EVER.
Unfortunately, it's not very exciting, so I hope you're not missing out on anything important to sit here and read my revelation. I didn't used to be man, and I'm not admitting some kind of great lie, like I really secretly hate sugar or something (which would be DUMB, not exciting).
No, call me crazy, but I've always been intrigued by the idea of being a pregnancy surrogate. And not just because I could wear a shirt that says WOMB FOR RENT, even though that would be hilarious. Is that crazy? Probably, but I love being pregnant, and if I could, I would rival Michelle Duggar for pregnancies, but seeing as how TLC isn't likely to build me a bigger house just for popping out babies, it isn't going to happen any time soon. Also, I love the idea of carrying a baby for someone who can't carry it themselves for whatever reason. I don't know if I could ever really do this for someone I didn't know, but if someone I knew and loved asked me to... I'd do it in a heartbeat. I think it'd have to be someone I know because I feel like even though the baby wasn't mine, I'd still form an emotional attachment and would want to be a part of that baby's life. Oh, and also, if I have to deal with the flabby post-partum stomach, it'd have to be for someone I love, because people, Tommy is ten weeks old, and I'm STILL spending approximately 15 hours a day sucking in my stomach.
The odds of me ever doing something like this are slim to nil, but it's kind of neat to entertain the idea that I WOULD do it.
As long as I'm admitting things, did you know that the only live births I've ever seen are my own? I'm not even sure if that counts because the first time, I was in so much pain and so angry that I kept my eyes shut tight until it was over. And the second time, it happened so fast and I was so busy thinking OH NO I AM NOT DOING THIS OMG YES I AM that I really wasn't in the moment. I have friends who have said I could be there when they have babies, but none of these friends have had babies. If I had a job with a flexible schedule (or no job at all, if there are any sugar daddies out there), I would most definitely be a doula because I'd love to be there when babies are born. Even though I don't have a flexible job, I'm still thinking of taking doula classes with Sarah Viola. Don't you think Sarah and I would make a sweet doula team? I'd hire us.
But instead, I'm just waiting patiently for those friends to get pregnant. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go replace all of their birth control pills with Tic Tacs.