I'm going to admit something here that I've never admitted before, ever. EVER.
Unfortunately, it's not very exciting, so I hope you're not missing out on anything important to sit here and read my revelation. I didn't used to be man, and I'm not admitting some kind of great lie, like I really secretly hate sugar or something (which would be DUMB, not exciting).
No, call me crazy, but I've always been intrigued by the idea of being a pregnancy surrogate. And not just because I could wear a shirt that says WOMB FOR RENT, even though that would be hilarious. Is that crazy? Probably, but I love being pregnant, and if I could, I would rival Michelle Duggar for pregnancies, but seeing as how TLC isn't likely to build me a bigger house just for popping out babies, it isn't going to happen any time soon. Also, I love the idea of carrying a baby for someone who can't carry it themselves for whatever reason. I don't know if I could ever really do this for someone I didn't know, but if someone I knew and loved asked me to... I'd do it in a heartbeat. I think it'd have to be someone I know because I feel like even though the baby wasn't mine, I'd still form an emotional attachment and would want to be a part of that baby's life. Oh, and also, if I have to deal with the flabby post-partum stomach, it'd have to be for someone I love, because people, Tommy is ten weeks old, and I'm STILL spending approximately 15 hours a day sucking in my stomach.
The odds of me ever doing something like this are slim to nil, but it's kind of neat to entertain the idea that I WOULD do it.
As long as I'm admitting things, did you know that the only live births I've ever seen are my own? I'm not even sure if that counts because the first time, I was in so much pain and so angry that I kept my eyes shut tight until it was over. And the second time, it happened so fast and I was so busy thinking OH NO I AM NOT DOING THIS OMG YES I AM that I really wasn't in the moment. I have friends who have said I could be there when they have babies, but none of these friends have had babies. If I had a job with a flexible schedule (or no job at all, if there are any sugar daddies out there), I would most definitely be a doula because I'd love to be there when babies are born. Even though I don't have a flexible job, I'm still thinking of taking doula classes with Sarah Viola. Don't you think Sarah and I would make a sweet doula team? I'd hire us.
But instead, I'm just waiting patiently for those friends to get pregnant. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go replace all of their birth control pills with Tic Tacs.
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OH MY GOSH me too. I would seriously love to be a surrogate. My first (and only so far) pregnancy was not super easy, but it was not like I was ridiculously sick everyday or anything. I would totally be willing to do that for someone else to be able to bring their child into the world. But, like you, I would probably want it to be someone I know and love for similar reasons as yours.
But so far the closest person that it could be considered for is my best friend's sister-in-law... and if you think about that it is not that close. And they are not looking into that option yet. Plus I am not sure how people looking for a surrogate go about it, would they just start asking their friends and relatives or be more likely to try to find a service?
Besides, if I start running around OFFERING to be their surrogate before they ask, I am pretty sure I would start freaking people out. :)
Awesome! so early to be reading but your post and was hilarious in a serious kind of way. I really enjoyed your humor this morning, thanks so much! =)
Honestly, I think it's awesome that you are such a thoughtful person who would do this amazing thing for someone who could not. I have two girls and they are the most amazing thing that ever happened to me but I don't think I could do it for someone else... I form such a strong bond with baby that I would be trying to steal her all the time then I'd be in the news all over the place! =)
... oh and, you love being pregnant really? I begin having back pains the moment I find out I'm pregnant. Well Good For You! =) Thanks Again!
Well, it might be crazy BUT I have definitely considered it as well - for family. I would do it for siblings - mine or my husband's. Maybe even a few good friends. Like you said I would want to know how the baby was doing and all. But I do not think it is crazy - but then again I am all for it. :)
As far as watching live births - I have never done it either. I pruposely did not watch my own. So, yeah no I have never seen it. Would I like to someday? I guess, if it was the right situation and I felt like the people want me there.
funny..
seriously, I can not get the idea of being a surrogate out of my mind. Everywhere I go I feel like someone is talking about it and it's like "my sign" EVERYWHERE. It's on tv, its in the grocery store, it's all over the computer..
I ADORE being pregnant but I dont so much love the end result of being pregnant. This baby thing is a gagillion times harder than I ever thought it would be!
I would do it for anyone though.. not just a family memeber. Think about it, you'd be gaining more family! And its not a quick process so you'd probably know the couple for a good year before hand...
sigh... maybe one day!
I've totally been thinking about taking doula classes. That would be so amazing.
I've thought about being a surrogate, especially because I'd want to experience pregnancy at least once more, but doubt we'll be having more babies, but I just don't think I'd be that good at giving them their baby. I'm weird like that.
Being a surrogate would be such an honor for someone. And if my current (and first) pregnancy is any indication of future experiences, it wouldn't be terrible difficult on me physically. I'm doing damn well, considering.
I'm trained as a doula (through DONA), but because of my inflexible 9 to 5 office job haven't attended any births or gotten into my "doula-ing" at all yet. Someday... hopefully someday soon before my training expires and I have to start again!
LOL Erin, you crack me up. I think the Tic Tac taste might give it away tho... But you go girl! It's worth a try!
You're such a sweetie. You should definitely look into the doula thing.
I would *totally* be a surrogate for the right people too.
You and Sarah would make a fabulous doula team. For real!
I don't think I could, just because I was so sick with Ian. Ask me again after baby number 2.
i wish that i had "easy" (i know none are TOTALLY easy) pregnancies, but i think it is God's way of me NOT rivaling michelle duggar. ; )
i don't think you're crazy, but i don't think i could do it. which makes me seem like a total selfish witch, especially considering the amazing gifts i'll be given from my child(ren)'s birth mothers....
i've seen 4 births (plus my 4) and i seriously could do that everyday. my dream was always to be a L & D nurse, but with major doula flare, not so much the "normal" hospital experience. wish we had a place like that that i could work at!
I do not think that's crazy; if it is, we're on the same crazy wavelength.
i actually trained to be a doula, but did not have a job with flexible enough scheduling to allow me to attend the births to get certified - BUT i did serve as my sister's douls for her three birthds and it was amazing. and for each one i think i helped, in a way that an untrained person (read husband, mom or even sister)would not have been able to, just a tiny bit of help, but help indeed.
I have thought the same thing before...I really loved being pregnant. But given my history of miscarriage I don't know that I'd be a good candidate. My mom also loved the idea of being a surrogate when she was younger. She had very easy pregnancies and really loved being pregnant.
My sister asked me to be a surrogate for her if they couldn't get pregnant on their own. She actually ended up getting pregnant on her own...and that will be the first live birth to see besides my own as well. I'm going to be there to be the photographer...so I'm really excited about that. :)
And I loved your last line about the tic tacs. :)
I totally agree and believe you two would be great doulas.
If you two are up, you are more than welcome to pop in Miss E's birth.
which hopefully will be tonight or tomorrow (please for the love of God)
The idea of being a surrogate has been really on my mind lately, as my sister struggles with fertility. I think she is the only one I would do it for though, it's my sister.
I have only been to my daughters birth too, but don't know if I would want to see another. I think mine is enough...unless my sister did get preggers and asked me too. Then I would be there! Again, it's my sister. lol
I think surrogacy is the most loving, generous, courageous, HUMAN gift that could ever be given. I am not surprised at all that you have given this thought. I am amazed at women who have this depth of spirit... they are walking miracle-makers. You are extraordinary, for certain.
You crack me up, even if it is with your crazy. :)
And seriously? I think I am going to be sucking in my stomach forever. Still totally worth it, to be honest I kinda like it cuz it came from my baby. It's the Joel tummy and it makes me smile.
And I understand the love of being pregnant thing...now if I could just skip the labor part it would be all good. I can't wait to have our next nine kids. ;) You can totally be my doula for all of them, once we get you a personal flying car so you would make it here on time. I'll let you know when they come off backorder.
I was planning to be a surrogate until I realized my body can't handle it. My sister was told when we were young that she may not be able to carry children so I told her I would do it for her. We've been talking about it since I was 7! Well, sad day for us. Turns out the tables turned! She seems ok now and I am the one w/o the option. Thankfully in my heart I also knew I was meant to adopt so I am ok with Milo being my only birthed-from-my-body baby. I totally get what you mean and I don't believe you're crazy at all! I think it's a beautiful calling to be a surrogate.
And as for being a doula, well, I would LOVE to have you as a doula. There are many doulas in my community who allow people to "tag along" (with the consent of the client) so they can see if it's for them. If you're interested in that, I'd talk to people who train doulas and see if you could try it out! It's also great networking for after you do train and need to clock hours as a doula for certification.
Okay, I'm crazy too. If weren't so much older and more wrinkled, I'd say we were lost twin sisters ;-) I love being pregnant, have had easy pregnancies and births and I thought about being a surrogate for a long time. I started my own baby having a bit late though and I'm pushing too old to do it for someone else.
I'd also love to see a birth from "the other end." I've only been to mine - but I had a precious friend at my last birth and it was such a great addition to the experience.
Oh and I hear you. I could have eight, nine kids of my own easy...18 might be pushing it!
I'd totally hire us. And I admire you so much for your passion.
I think being a surrogate for friends that could not carry their own child is the most wonderful thing you can do for a friend :)
You could be like Phoebe!
I think it could be neat to carry a loved one who can't have babies baby. And if I'm going to be throwing up everyday for atleast 12 weeks I would have to love that person a whole lot!
P.S. Change the 'verizon' in my email address to 'comcast'. I need to figure out how to change that on here.
I figured out how to change it!
You're not crazy at all. Like AnyMommy, I started my baby-making at an older age and I do believe I am past my prime for popping out babies (I'm 37). However, if I was younger, I would totally consider for family or a best friend. TOTALLY.
Funny you mention being a doula, because I have thought, IF I ever went back to work, I would seriously consider something having to do with L&D or the NICU.
There are parts i love about being pregnant. But, I am a terrible pregnant person and end up with high risk issues. So, three is enough times for me :)
I don't think it's crazy. I know that I'm 85% sure that I won't have any children, but if a friend needed me to, I'd totally carry her child.
I feel the same way. Right now I'm longing to conceive my own baby - a second child for our family. it hasn't happened yet, and I'm getting to the point where I'm considering just how far am i willing to go to reach that goal. Even with those thoughts, I loved being pregnant the first time and I would love to be pregnant again. The chances of me being asked to be a surrogate for someone I love are pretty much nil - because those I love have all had children quite easily. I'm the one working at it.
I would love to be a doula though....maybe someday. My husband's SIL was our doula and she was such a quiet strength for me. It wasn't an easy birth, but she made it easy for me to make my choices for the birth clear. She was amazing and our birth would have never been the same without her.
I don't know Sarah, but I think you would make an amazing doula.
I couldn't be a surrogate. No way. I admire those who can. I would be too attached to the baby, even though I'd know it was for the other person.
You are not alone. I have had friends who have done this, and if it wasn't for my broken tailbone issues and the immense pain I have to go through at the end which almost renders me incapable of moving (with 6 kids, that's not good) I probably would do it. But there's no fixing me :(
BTW, that doesn't make you crazy. At all. That makes you even more awesomer than you were before. And honey? You were already pretty fricken awesome. So there. :P
I'm sorry that I'm just now seeing this! I have the same desire, and have for a few years. We have some dear, dear friends who tried for 13 years to have a baby, and I wanted to be able to give them the child they longed for. SURPRISE - she's due November 22. :)
I don't know how I feel about surrogacy anymore, I mean, doing it. I still think it is an incredible gift to offer someone, but I don't know if I could do it. I guess if I went into the pregnancy knowing I wouldn't get to keep the baby, I might treat it differently.
But yes, all of that to say that I agree with you, and have wanted the same thing before!
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