I just read a fabulous post by Lisa (who I've recently bonded with via email, in that sort of, "HELLO, where have you BEEN all of my life!?" way) about making moments matter, and it made me stop and think so much.
Have I made moments matter lately? Or have I let life lose a little bit of luster lately? I hate to say it, but it's definitely more of the latter. Last week was hard. In a way that I found myself in break down, sobbing, gasping for breath tears at three different points during the week. Once while at work, which is never fun because even though 8th graders are pretty self-absorbed, they definitely notice when your eyes are red from tears.
Despite the tears and generally wanting to bitchslap life/feeling like life was bitchslapping me, though, there have been SO MANY good moments lately. Saturday night, my girls and I threw a fabulous surprise shower for Crooked Eyebrow, because she is having a GIRL after trying for so long. Despite my almost ruining the surprise (but I can't tell you about that because I will seriously cry again) in a fit of pregnancy brain, it went off without a hitch, and she was most definitely surprised and glowing with happiness. Go look at Beth's blog to see how gorgeously glowing and happy CE was. And oh, also look at those cupcakes I bought. Like Beth said, I should always be in charge of desserts for parties because I know my desserts.
I also got my first set of maternity photoshoot prints, and I keep looking at them and thinking, "Is that me? That's not really me!"
Lately, I feel like our house has been in upheaval. I have somewhere around 80 projects going on at once, which is not conducive to productivity. I also have a million appointments that I made thinking I'd be done with school by now, but HAHA, I'm not done until Thursday (see: life bitchslapping me). I am majorly in the midst of moving Luke into our guest bedroom and getting his old room ready for the baby. We thought it'd be mostly ready for the baby because we don't really have to change anything, but last month, his crib was recalled (seriously life, give a girl a break!), so we're now in the midst of dismantling his old crib to get a voucher for a new crib. The crib isn't a huge deal because Luke was six months old before he even slept in his, but still, it'd be nice to have it done just in case.
Anyway, we have moved Luke into his new racecar bed, which has been interesting to say the least. He goes between loving it and hating it. At night, Shane and I sit next to his bed for ten minutes and talk to him, then we say good night and let him fall asleep. Honestly, it's been an extra ten minutes, but it has been so sweet. Luke talks gently, and I lean against Shane while he rubs my stomach and feels the baby move. It's been the most beautiful part of my days and has kept me so grounded. And when I awoke in the middle of the night last night to a two year old climbing all ninja-like into bed next to me, I didn't take him back to his room like I knew
I should have. Instead I smelled his sweet hair, and this morning, when he was giggling deep belly laughs in his sleep, I laid there and watched him, even though I knew I'd be late for work.
Tonight I have to go to the dentist, and although you may not think there's anything good in that, there is. See, my dentist's office is located across from a place that makes the world's best frozen yogurt. It is SO good. And yes, it's completely counter-productive to go to the dentist, then go get sweets, but I play by my own rules when it comes to sweets. Even in the midst of all the time spent wanting to beat my head into a wall, there is so much good in everything. Sometimes you just have to look a little harder to find it, but it's there.