What is the hardest thing you've ever done?
This was a really tough one for me. Not tough because I couldn't think of a hard thing in my life, but tough because I thought of two things that were equally hard, but in totally different ways.
The hardest thing I've ever done in my teenage years (I think 19 counts as teenage?) was pressing charges after I was raped. I remember throwing a temper tantrum like a little kid when my parents woke me up to go to the police station. At that moment, I would've sooner walked across hot coals. In retrospect, I'm thankful I did, because I know that if he ever hurts anyone again, it'll be on record that he's done it before. But that said, I also wouldn't have pushed forward through the court trial, because it was a year and a half of misery. I believe that it made me stronger in the long run, but was it tougher than anything I ever thought I'd have to endure at that age? Yes.
The hardest thing I've had to endure as an adult would definitely be leaving Luke to return to work. I remember commenting to someone at the start of my six month maternity leave that I'd definitely be ready to go back to work because I was sure I'd be sooo bored. But I wasn't. It tore my heart into a million pieces. The first day, I sobbed in the parking lot, then proceeded into the meeting, where I fell the pieces at the first person who asked how I was doing. And then I cried through the entire two hour meeting, and I DIDN'T CARE. I didn't care who looked at my funny, I didn't care that I was a mess, all I wanted was to be home. If I'm to be honest, all I STILL want is to be home. I don't fall apart like that any more, but if the opportunity to leave work came up tomorrow, I wouldn't look back. At all. I love what I do, but I love Luke so much more.
And seriously, can you blame me for wanting to be with this all day, instead of 8th graders? (And also, do you like how I artfully hid my double chin?)
7 comments:
I think you did the right thing by pressing charges, but I can only imagine what a nightmare the whole process was for you at the tender age of 19. To have gone through the nightmare of being raped only to have to turn around and relive it for a year and half. NIGHTMARE.
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who had such a hard time going back to work. I cried everyday on the way to work (and it was an hour commute) for months. Everyone told me it would get easier, but it never did. I did eventually stop crying, but only because I knew there was no choice. The day I was laid off was the best and worst day of my life. My ego was crushed, but I knew I'd be able to stay home!!
Thanks for participating in my TTTs!
Oh Erin. I am glad you pressed charges...and I am sorry you had to go through that!
Leaving my boys was very hard for me, too. I love my job...but I did miss them SO much. It is 100% easier now that they are in school all day now, too.
Oh Wow! What a hard thing to deal with. I am glad your parents helped you do the right thing.
And i would rather be home each and every day. And there are only so many of those days left.
Wow, good for you for going ahead and pressing charges. I cannot imagine how hard that would be.
I cried every day when I went back to work. When I finally quit, I couldn't be happier.
I'm glad you pressed charges also. Hopefully the bastard doesnt hurt anyone again.
VERY artful photography!
I can't even imagine what that must have been like for you. (Not the artful photography. The other thing.) I CAN imagine what it's like leaving your child to go to work. Kiddo was almost 2, and I had planned on sending him to preschool the following year. I don't think I cried, but I literally felt an ache in my whole entire body the whole day long until I picked him up at 3:30.
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