I hate to feel this way, but I feel like I'm starting to burn out on teaching, and it's WAY too early in the year for that! I'm just not feeling it this year, and I'm not sure why. I thought this year would be easier because I'd already left Luke once, and because I wouldn't be spending every break--including lunch--hooked to a breast pump (YAY). That said, I was wrong! See, it's a lot harder to leave when Luke is wide awake saying, Bye bye Mama! He's just so much fun and so full of life that I want nothing more than to spend every waking moment with him. I also feel like I don't have the strong relationship with my students that I did last year. Last year, I joked around with students a lot, gave them nicknames, and other fun things. This year, I don't quite have that. I hope I will get there with some students, though. We also have a very different schedule. Last year, we taught from 7:30 to noon with no breaks, but then we basically had the afternoon off. This was great! This year, however, we have two breaks in the morning, then teach from 10:50 to 2:45. I'm not such a fan of that. I don't enjoy eating lunch at 10:30 in the morning, and I feel SO tired afterward.
Mostly, though, I feel like everyone in my school is feeling the burn out, too, which doesn't help. Last year was the first year in this BRAND NEW building. For most of us, we had new administrators, and although many of us already knew each other from the other middle school, there were some new teachers and all new support staff. It was fun. Everyone was pumped and ready to go, and I definitely didn't miss our old school one bit. This year, the honeymoon is definitely over. Everyone seems negative, quicker to get annoyed, and definitely less interested in doing things as a staff. It's a shame, too, because last year, our staff was really special. This year, everyone seems more interested in running out the door as quickly as possible. And hey, I get that because I'm right there, too, but on some level, I think it is important for co-workers to have a relationship outside of work. I think it builds trust, friendship, and it makes everyone more likely to lend a helping hand when needed.
I just hope that everyone can find a common ground, myself included. We need to be on top of our game for our students, and if I can't get there soon, I'm going to be using a lot of sick days!
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7 comments:
Erin, I think that it will get better. The new year is an adjustment for everyone especially the new hours.
Mmmm Hmmmm. Been there! It does make for a long year! BUT Christmas vacation will be here before we know it and then we can start a nice countdown of how many days left until summer vacation.
It's all about July and August, girl. Keep your eyes on the prize!
Erin, I am not going to try and tell you that this feeling will go away, as I have felt it over and over through the three years I have been teaching, on and off. I do hope that you find what words for you. I had a rough day today, one that left me questioning my abilities as a teacher.
Hang in there. I agree with you 100% about needing to hand out outside of school.
As a retired (30 years) educator... I know it is not easy to admit such feelings. Most people who have never taught just do not understand the great responsibility of being "up" during the entire work day. Teachers must be joyful, experts in their fields of study, motivators, disciplinarians, peace-makers, moms, writers, public speakers, co-operative, innovative, technologically savvy, aware of current events and trends, behavioral specialists... and so much more... each literal second of each teaching moment. There is never any down time. There is never any real quiet. It is what we love... but what sometimes breaks our backs and our spirits. I hope your year progresses a little more smoothly, because you are a remarkable woman and your students need your youthful exuberance and care...
As you know from my blog, I. so. hear. you. And I just took a 6 year break from the classroom and did some counseling and university work, so I have no excuse for feeling so burnt out.
Well, except maybe that I have 170 students.
Or that I have inclusion classes with double the amount of IEPs I'm supposed to have.
Or that our administration are turds of epic proportions.
sigh.
The Burn out feeling is the worst. I had it so bad last year as a Special Education Teacher that I actually left my position & haven't looked back!
I swear you were in my classroom since the beginning of this school year. This is exactly how I've been feeling! I'm exhausted and the morale in our school not so fun. We do have many mandates that are being intiated which stinks plus pretty much a meeting or two a day which sucks up the time. I feel like I don't have the time to prepare or implement anything well. Rather I'm just trying to get it done. Add to that on Wednesday we had parent conferences until 7 and one was so bad I went crying to my principal which is something so not like me. I ended up taking a mental health day today because I felt like I just needed to stop. I feel your pain!! At the same time I know from the posts you have shared about your teaching that you are good at what you do. We will get through this year, we will continue to be the best teachers we can be, and we will impact lives. Hang in there!
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