Words From My Husband

I am not one of those women who makes fun of her husband or calls him stupid/lazy, because he's not. Far from it! But sometimes, he says things that just make me shake my head and say, What? Are we on the same planet?

For example, he just popped his head in the room and said, "I taught all day with a Sam Adams bottle cap in my pocket!" When I asked why it was in his pocket, he said, "Because it's a #2 bottle cap." O...kay? Is this some sort of secret beer lingo? I still don't understand why it was in his pocket, and I suppose I never will!

Last week, he called his mom to tell her that I had strep throat, and I was privy to his end of the conversation. This is how he decides to tell his mom I have strep:

"So, Erin has been feeling really sick in the mornings. But then she feels better in the evenings, but still not 100%. She went to the doctor and-- what? No, she's not pregnant, she has strep throat!"
He then got off the phone and proceeded to be shocked that his mom would think I was pregnant. First of all, as soon as he said sick in the mornings, I started frantically gesturing for him to STOP, because it sounded so wrong. Second of all, *I* started to think I was pregnant for a second, hearing his description. But no, according to him, it was an apt description because I did feel worse in the mornings than in the evenings. His poor mom had brief flickering hopes of another grandchild, before she had to learn that, sadly, my tonsils were just swollen to the size of oranges. All because my husband, the English teacher, has a tendency to say the most bizarre things.

Does your spouse have this habit? Or even better, are YOU someone who spouts of random sentences, then wonders why no one can follow you?