My Archnemesis

For reasons unbeknown to me, there is a cashier at our local Target who either hates me or is just really awkward socially. OR she has learned that I'm a superhero by night and is out to thwart me during the day, when I am but a mere school teacher.

I'm thinking our answer lies somewhere between option one and option two, probably closer to option two, because people don't usually hate me for little reason (unless they are 8th graders). There was my old gynecologist, who seemed to super duper hate me, but I'm fairly certain that she was Satan.

ANYWAY, this Target cashier always makes bizarrely awkward conversation with me that almost always ends with her smirking at something I say. It's not overt enough that I'd ever complain to Target, but it is certainly interesting. Try as I might to avoid her, she always seems to be the only cashier available. And I really love Target, so not going is not an option.

When I first met Target Cashier of Doom (COD for short) two months ago, she kept insisting that I take the formula coupon that printed from the register. This happens often when I'm buying baby items, and I always smile and say, Thanks, we don't need it, but please give it to someone who does! That usually ends the conversation, but not with COD. Yesterday, we had a conversation that almost mirrored the conversation we had when fate first thrust us together.

Me: Wearing black tank top, blue yoga pants. Totally awesome.
COD: Older woman, wearing red top, khakis. Totally not awesome.
Luke: Wearing a button up shirt, overalls. Also awesome, but doesn't participate in this exchange.
Everything italicized represents thoughts, so don't think I said any of that out loud.

COD: "What kind of formula do you use?"
Me: Not again. SERIOUSLY NOT AGAIN!
"We don't use any. But if that's a coupon, give it to someone who does!"
COD: "Oh, he does look a little too old to still be on formula. Still, $5 off is a very good deal. You know how expensive formula is!"
Me: WHY WHY WHY??
"We breastfeed, actually, but I've heard it can be very expensive."
COD: "$5 off is a VERY good deal. It's too bad you can't use it."
Me: Here we go, what can I say to get her to stop, oh, I KNOW "Well, breastmilk is free. That's a pretty good deal, too!"
COD: [smirks, ceases eye contact, and thankfully, ceases talking]

The worst part is that we have HAD CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS BEFORE. I feel like I'm stuck in some awful rendition of Groundhog Day. So tell me, can they not give your coupons to someone else? It's printed separately from the receipt, so that's not the issue. She is older, so I do not think she wants the coupon herself. If they can't, then next time, I will take the coupon and mail it someone who can use it! OR better yet, is this woman bizarre to everyone? If you've visited the Valpo Target and encountered my archnemesis and had her be all nemesis-y to you, too, let me know, so I can reassure myself that only 8th graders hate me for no good reason.